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Black_Rose
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Post subject: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:21 am |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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Well prologue has not been written but a random idea came into my head. I plan to introduce a female as a main character in the next chapter. This is probably very contrived and disjointed like most of my attempts at story writing but you guys feel free to give me your views and suggestions for plot. Chapter 1
All was not well on the shimmering isle of Orna. An air of quiet dread loomed over the island kingdom. The birds were quiet and more men were reported lost or dead at sea. And yet, only the high priests had voiced their concern. The people mulled about carrying on with their daily business. The sharium, or marketplace, was thriving as ever. The common folk had dismissed the rumours and the tales of deadly sea beasts, knowing no reason for their goddess to forsake them. The goddess of the sea, Meranwa, wife of the god Adderand, god of all the skies. Yet little did they know, the Crystal Tear was gone.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The Oceanid nobles slowly poured into the great hall. Each taking their place forming a semi circle around the throne. In all their hundreds of years few times had they witnessed such a gathering. For every noble of every house, great and small, to be summed was indeed a sign of importance. Some, even journeying from far across the island to the coastal capital of Mykae, the white city, city of the glittering walls. So called because the palaces and homes of the nobles were all made of solid marble, inlaid with various coloured crystals. The common houses were no less striking, with white washed walls inlaid with coloured stones. The grandest of the lot was the palace, seated atop a hill above the bustling town surrounded by an estate containing lush tropical vegetation. Any visitor would be awe stricken by the sight.
Young Astyrag, Lord of Barda, the capital city of the jungle province of Arten, was indeed awe struck when he first arrived in the city. His father, Lord Sorax, had been to Mykae many times but had never once taken Astyrag with him, instead preferring the young noble to train his swordsmanship at home or patrol the house troops around the city's border. A few weeks ago Lord Sorax had met with a sudden death, and young Astyrag had ascended to the Lordship. He had been lord for not even a month when he received a summons to attend one of the largest council meetings in Oceanid history.
Astyrag gazed out at Mykae from the balcony within his quarters. Noble and common houses alike were glittering in the sun. The Magus tower, part of the Academy of Sorcery, sat on the western edge over the city gazing the central areas of the city. Suddenly, a ball of smoke erupted from the tower. Astyrag smiled in amusement. An apprentice mage had no doubt messed up one of his spells again. At first Astyrag was alarmed at the sight, thinking the tower may be on fire. He had alerted the guards in a panic who rushed to the tower immediately. Needless to say he was deeply embarassed when an Arch Magus came out to greet them and apologised on behalf of his young apprentice who had been trying to master his fireball spell. The eruption of a ball of smoke from the tower was now a common sight as each time the apprentice tried his spell and each time failed.
Astyrag's reverie was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. He went to open the door and greeted the visitor.
“Greetings, my Lord” the messenger said. “The meeting is to begin in 15 minutes. Your presence is requested in the Great Hall.”
“Thank you” said Astyrag as he nodded to the messenger. “I shall make my way there directly.”
Within 5 minutes of the messenger's departure, Astyrag had made his way into the Great Hall taking his seat by Lord Earlap, Lord of the Spindar Fort on the eastern cliffs of Orda and the surrounding towns. “You're late.” said Earlap with a grin. “The last to make it to any gathering, as always”
“As always you are mistaken, dear friend. The meeting has yet to begin” responded Astyrag.
Earlap was about to respond when the hall suddenly fell silent. The King had arrived. All in the room stood up and made a bow to his majesty. King Taral II removed his bright, fur lined cloak and sat upon his golden throne. The nobles followed, seating themselves down once again. King Taral scanned the hall looking at his subjects. Those who frequented the palace many times had an impassive expression, many who were unfamiliar with these halls appeared either shocked or awed. One of those people, was once again Lord Astyrag. Earlap elbowed his friend and whispered “Close your mouth ya big fool, it's not seemly” Astyrag quickly shut his mouth and glared at his friend.
“You have been called hear today to discuss a grave occurrence.” Began the king. “You may have already noticed that this is no ordinary council and I shall not waste time discussing other matters. It appears the Crystal Tear has been stolen.” The nobles audibly gasped. Some exclaimed in shock, some simply shook their heads in disbelief. The crowd began to mumble among themselves. “SILENCE” shouted the King. “Before I make any comments about this horrible event, I request High Priest Garrian to come forth and reiterate his report.”
Clad in robes of blue, the colour of Meranwa, the elderly priest nervously stepped foreward. Garrian had been High Priest as long as anyone could remember and was almost 2000 years of age, old even for an Oceanid. Those who see him regularly know that he is a strong man, rarely shook by anything. However in all his 1950 years he had never seen this happen. Few even knew of the Crystal Tear! And for it to be stolen, why that was shock enough.
“The Crystal Tear was removed from its place approximately an hour after the moon had reached its highest point in the sky, four days ago.” he began. Speaking in almost a whisper, the nobles had to strain to hear him. “Two clerics were murdered in cold blood at the doors to the Sacred Chamber and 3 more killed on the thief's way out”. The crowd gasped in horror.
“Who would do such a thing” exclaimed Lord Amper with a snarl. “I shall gather my troops and hunt him down!” said the big man as the priests eyes burned at the interruption.
The King raised his hand in silence “Peace Lord Amper, let the priest finish his report.”
“Impatient!” responded the displeased priest. “Now, as I was saying, the thief killed 5 of our clerics. One lay dead in a corner overlooking the entrance to the Sacred Chamber, the chamber that houses Meranwa's tear. Our healers have determined he was one of the last to die. Having spoken to his spirit, by the blessing of Her Holiness Meranwa, I have retrieved images from his final moments” Being the High Priest, and so old of age, Garrian was indeed powerful for a priest and highly experienced. None of the audience were surprised, instead anxiously awaiting to see the events of the cleric's final moments unfold. The priest raised his arms and muttered an incantation to Meranwa and pointed to the centre of the room. A three dimensional image appeared at the very spot. The image was of the doors to the Sacred Chamber. Then the image started to change, as if replaying the cleric's final minutes of life. The doors started to open and the nobles watched intently. A figure emerged from the room placing the glowing orb somewhere beneath his black cloak. Suddenly, a bolt of blue flew from the cleric to the figure an bounced off an invisible shield. The figure suddenly turned toward the cleric as the cleric sent defence after defence at the figure only to be blocked by his invisible shield. The figure lunged forward at the cleric drawing a dagger in one hand and a blot of white starting to emanate from the other.
“HALT” yelled Astyrag suddenly and stood up from his seat. The images stopped moving abruptly.
“What is the meaning of this?!” exclaimed the enraged King. Astyrag bowed low in front of the king. “You will forgive my impudence Your Highness but I noticed something in the images that I felt it was vital to point out” “Very well, go on” said the King, now intrigued. The young man walked toward the image and pointed at the figure's neck.
“Notice a gleam of metal here.” said the young Lord. “A golden medallion”
“What of it?!” said the excitable Lord Amper. Another stood up in the left corner of the room. “You interrupt this to point out a shiny bauble?” he exclaimed.
“Observant indeed” said the priest. “The boy is right to point it out, for it may be of importance as to the thief's identity” he expanded. The priest walked up to the image and touched the image of the medallion with his long bony finger. The area immediately grew bigger giving a clear view of the medallion.
“A coat of arms” observed the priest. “Indeed” nodded the king. “I recognize as being elven in origin though I know not of what house.”
A female figure stood up, the widowed Lady Orikai. “Perhaps Mishabar should be summoned, Your Highness” said she “For if there be any scholar in the realm who may know of this it will be him. I have met him personally and he is highly knowledgeable in the histories of other races and their noble houses”
“Very well” agreed the king. “Send a messenger to his residence” said the king to one of his attendants. “Bring him here as soon as possible.” The king addressed his audience while stroking his beard. “An elven thief. What can it mean?”.
“Perhaps it was stolen” suggested Lord Amper.
“Not so, dear cousin” responded Rilien, one of the lesser Lords residing in Mykae, who spent his time studying the magics. “Let us take a look at his face. A larger image may reveal more detail. It is possible we may be able to discern more than a black shadow.” The priest focused on the attacker's face. “Ah there. You can just make out pointed ears beneath the hood of his cloak. And if we move down to his dagger arm. There!” pointed Rilien as the image shifted to focus on his arm. “The black lily tattooed upon his fair elven skin! The elf is a member of one of the thieves' guilds”
“Well spotted young mage” said dark-haired Lord Junibar. “The symbols of the various thieves' guilds are black flowers. The Guild of the Black Lily is based in the city of Solarnus. I have had an unpleasant experience with the lawless lot on one of my trips there” said Junibar as his eyes narrowed, darkening with an unidentifiable emotion.
“An elven thief, member of the Black Lilies, of unknown house but decidedly noble, interesting indeed” said the King. “As you no doubt must have inferred by now, our goddess is displeased. The Crystal Tear has been taken from it's rightful place and the power that it wields can bring us to our knees! The Crystal Tear is the pure essence of the sea!”
“Our ships! They could be in grave danger! One who plots against us could summon a 1000 krakens!” exclaimed the priest “Meranwa senses that our treasure has fallen into evil hands. If it is not recovered not only do we face possible destruction by it's use, our trading empire and all our ships gone, but we also face her disfavour!” exclaimed the priest. Many nobles visibly paled and the rotund Minister of Trade even fainted, unable to process the news.
“War upon the elves!” shouted Lord Amper with cheers coming from the group of nobles around him. King Taral simply shook his head. “Calm down, Amper.” said he, waving his hand irritatedly. “The elves normally place themselves on a high moral pedestal. This is no ordinary situation. A noble elf in a thieves' guild is an unusual situation” said the King. King Taral was pale and visibly shaken by the news but kept his cool. A messenger quietly entered the Great Hall and whispered to the king's attendant who then whispered into the King's ear. He nodded and looked to his subjects. “House of Shinaira, of the elven kingdom of Loriell, based in the capital city of Poldien. Lord Junibar, you shall take a ship to Solarnus and find out what the guild is up to.” Junibar bowed low, his eyes darkening. The king now looked to Astyrag “Young Lord, you are observant and smart. Skills needed to unravel a true mystery. You shall journey to Poldien and discover as much as you can about our rogue elf. His affinities, who he may work for, how to get to him.” Lord Amper visibly sneered at Astyrag, wanting to face the elves himself. Astyrag ignored him and bowed low with a wide smile “I am truly honoured, Your Majesty.”
“The both of you are to report to me as soon as you have discovered anything and your success is vital! Now, all of you are dismissed!”
The crowd dissipated, may discussing he shocking and intriguing turn of events among themselves, some returning to their quarters. Lord Junibar walked up to Lord Astyrag and clasped his wrist is greeting. “We are in for a long journey, comrade. You are welcome to journey with me to the port of Calistro and from there we can make our separate ways.” Astyrag, still brimming with excitement, smiled at his new companion. “I accept your offer. This shall be indeed be an interesting adventure!”
_________________
Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 4:11 pm |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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As I've mentioned it has interesting plotline and names and want to see what happens next. Already foreshadowing disaster it seems in one lord with dark emotions behind his eyes.
I'd try to just change the wording to keep the flow going.
Other than that, doesn't seem to need too much tweaking.
Don't give up just yet, keep writing, it usually smooths itself out in time 
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:19 pm |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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Thanks  I already have quite a few ideas about what I want to happen in the next chapters. I found that it helped to read certain passages two or three times, when I wrote chapter to, to see how the words would sound if read. Anyways I've already written chapter two and have introduced the female character and expanded on the Arch Mage and his apprentice meantioned in the first bit of chapter 1. Now, if you're worrying about having too many charactrs, chapter 1 was more to set the scene and show that there are many people involved and have an interest in the goings on. Most of them are minor characters so not really worth many thoughts. As for lord with dark emotions, I have plans to hint at the reason for his feelings in the coming chapters. Now for chapter 2. WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS -------------------------------- Chapter 2
Felynestra gazed out of her window as the cool tropical breeze gently brushed against her face. Located on the third story of her ancestral home on Royal Hill, the house offered a panoramic view of the ocean. She watched ships came and went from the docks far below and let out a long sigh. Oceanids, born of the ocean, were sea-faring people. They had an affinity with the ocean and its inhabitants, able to communicate with sea creatures. Those initiated into the clerical ranks could even summon storms from time to time. And yet the women of Orna were trapped on this damnable island. Beautiful, yes, but this island was like a prison to her. Ornian women were discouraged from making long journeys, discouraged from becoming merchants or warriors. The acceptable occupations for Ornian women were either priestess or mage, and even then only the men seemed to achieve high rank. Of course, there were whores and barmaids but those were highly discouraged for obvious reasons. Women who were shunned by Ornian society or exiled for some reason tended to seek amusement by becoming what the humans call, Sirens. Other rogue women became pirates, free to take what they wanted and give nothing back. Worst of all, were the fates of noble women for the only acceptable 'profession' for them was wife, trophy, and mother. Acceptable leisurely pursuits: singing, writing poetry, entertaining the men with their meek feminine charms. Felynaestra fell in the latter category and what made her sick was that most other noble women were quite happy with their fates.
She moved to her dressing table summoning a maid to brush her wavy raven locks, which fell to her waist. Her maid then proceeded to braid part of her hair and clipped it back with a golden hair pin, leaving the rest of it loose.
“Will this do, my Lady?” asked the maid. Felynestra simply nodded and her ladies maid left. She dabbed some rose oil onto her neck and took one last look at the window.
“Am I doomed to live this way forever?” whispered Felynestra to herself. “What was that?” asked a voice from the doorway. “Nothing” she replied as she smiled at her intruder. “Now, dear brother take me to the dining hall”
Her brother extended an arm, which she took, and they started to make their way to the dining hall. “I fear father has discovered our secret training sessions. He does not approve your skilled swordsmanship. I fear he had ordered my lessons to come to a stop.” Felynestra frowned deeply. “Of course he would. 'The bow and arrow is the more seemly weapon for your sex' he says. We will continue in another secret location won't we?” she asked, looking her brother in the eye. He shook his head apologetically. “I'm afraid I don't want to do anything to further anger father.” Felynestra rolled her eyes at Ronin “Right, next in line for the Lordship and all”. “You mistake me dear sister. I would never...” “The food will grow cold at this rate” growled Lord Amper as the two walked into the dining hall. “I am sorry for the delay, father” said Ronin as they sat down and began to eat their meal. “I wonder what's wrong with him.” muttered Felynestra to her brother who simply kicked her in the foot. She grimaced. Damn, father was staring. “Um...the soup! Too much salt, dear father. Our cook has done poorly today.” “Tastes fine to me” said Ronin, looking his sister in the eye with a slight smirk. “Damn fool of a cook! I shall hire a new one!” roared Lord Amper as Felyestra and Ronin looked at each other. “Oh no” she mouthed. He only ever fired the servants at will when he was really upset about something. That never boded well for anyone. “If I may ask father...” “No. You may not, state affairs” interrupted Lord Amper coldly. Needless to say the rest of the meal was eaten in silence.
Ronin escorted his sister back to her rooms. “Well that went well” said Ronin sarcastically with a grin. Felynestra didn't return the smile. “Don't be so grim dear sister” said he. “Things are not that bad. At least you have The Night Rogue”. Felynestra looked at her brother in shock. “Don't worry I'm the only one who knows. No one else will find out about your occasional disguised night adventures”. She sighed in relief, fully trusting in her brother. “But how did you know it was me?” she asked. He grinned at her. “Why because blood is thicker than water dear sister. I know your every move” he replied with a wink. Felynestra laughed and with that, he returned to his own rooms.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Prince Paran made his way into the training chamber in the Magus tower. The Arch Magus of the tower, named Binnon, welcomed his apprentice.
“Welcome, Your Highness. Today you will be schooled in the art of teleportation” the Arch Magus began. “Hopefully, this will not take as much time to master as that damned fire spell” sighed Binnon, alluding to that embarrassing occasion when a Lord had mistaken the Prince's failed attempts for the tower itself being on fire. The Prince sneered.
“You forget who you're talking to” he shot back at the Arch Magus. Binnon frowned. “I do not forget who you are Your Highness, but egotism will not help you master your spells!” Prince Paran was aware that it would be harder for him to learn, beginning so late. He decided to embark on a change of career a few months ago, when he dueled with a warrior mage, and was bested. The Prince was at his knees by the end of that duel. Deeply embarrassed, he decided to learn the magical arts. His pride demanded a rematch. It became one of his goals to best that mage at his own damn game. His father, unable to persuade him otherwise, was of course able to secure him the best teacher available. Being the son of a King came with definite advantages.
“Focus!” demanded the Arch Mage. “Now as I was saying, to do this spell you need to visualise the location you want to be at. For the purposes of our lesson, let that be the herb garden below. Then, you recite the ancient runic command for teleportation. As I mentioned in one of my earlier lessons, stronger mages do not need to recite out loud. However, for your benefit I shall do so.” Stronger mages. That warrior mage didn't need to recite anything out loud, the prince thought. It seems he has quite a high standard to best. The Mage uttered a runic command and was gone in an instant snapping the Prince out of his thoughts.
“Damn I missed it.” he said to himself. “...like so” said the Arch Mage as he suddenly reappeared. “Now you try.” The prince tried to put all thoughts out of his head and focused on the garden. What was that runic command? The prince spent a few moments trying to remember the command the Mage just uttered, as said Mage watched patiently. It would take a long time to teach this one, he sighed. The prince finally remembered the command and uttered it. In an instant he was gone. The Mage made his way to the balcony and peered into the garden. He frowned. The prince was not there.
Prince Paran appeared suddenly in a dim candle lit room. He stood behind a pillar trying to think over what just occurred. “Well at least I teleported somewhere. That's a start” he muttered inaudibly to himself. He scanned his surroundings and observed that he was standing in the shadows of a large room. The room was dimly lit and smelled of something. What was that smell. Perfume? Roses? In the middle of the room lay a large square pool. A bath house. He ended up in a bath house. Must have been distracted by thoughts of that whore from last night, he thought with a smirk. He was about to go and look for a way out when suddenly a female figure stepped in. Her raven black hair was loose and she wore a blue gown of flowing silks. He knew her from somewhere. Lady Felynestra! That's right, the woman from the ball last week. He remembered greeting her briefly and remembered making a mental note about her figure. He seemed to have wound up in her private bathing chamber. Unable, or rather, unwilling to move, the prince remained behind the pillar and watched as Felynestra unclasped her gown and slipped it off. An honourable person would at least look away, if unable to remove himself from such a situation. The prince however, was not honourable by any means. He watched as the moonlight shone through the window, illuminating her nude form. She turned, facing his general direction, as she slowly descended the steps into the bathing pool. The prince bit his lip and observed as she made her way deeper into the pool and started to bathe. He watched her as she began to swim.
Felynestra swam around in her large pool. Being in water always felt completely natural to her kind. Bathing, she found, was the most relaxing of all activities. She closed her eyes and pressed her back to stone as she lay in the heated pool, reflecting on the events of the day. Father did attend that council meeting in the morn, she thought. It was rumoured to have been one of the largest meetings in Oceanid history, or at least, for the past generation or two of monarchs. Perhaps he heard news that was particularly troubling, she thought. Then again, her father did seem to trouble himself over the smallest of things. Felynestra now sat on the the steps, legs submerged below the knee, and reached for a blue bottle. She the proceeded to lather its contents into her hair and onto her body. Oceanids were known for being a very hygienic race. Even commoners made sure to bathe in water, albeit cold and without soap, fairly regularly. Thoroughly satisfied that she was clean, Felynestra jumped back into the heated pool and then remerged, making her way out. She combed her hair roughly with her fingers and reached for a clear bottle containing an orange liquid. She massaged the rose oil into her body, finishing up her bath.
Prince Paran shuddered and struggled to keep his silent, trying to contain his excitement. Felynestra stopped as she wore her night gown. She scanned the room trying to discern the source of that faint noise. Seeing nothing, she shrugged. Must have been hearing things, she thought to herself, brushing away the uneasy feeling that she got. She made her way out of the bathing chamber and moved to her bedroom. Bathing at night always helped her forget her troubles, and always helped her sleep better.
Prince Paran, still reeling with images from the sensual encounter, spent some time recomposing himself. He made sure there were no footprints or other traces of his presence and collected his thoughts. He had to have her somehow, anyhow, he thought to himself. Even if it meant marrying the lascivious temptress. Until then, it seems he had found an entertaining way to utilise this teleportation spell. The prince, now overcome with a new found determination, directed his thoughts to returning to the tower. He recalled the appearance of the training chamber and focused as best as he could on the image. He then muttered the appropriate runic command attempting the teleportation spell once again.
The Arch Mage heard a loud splash coming from the pool in the centre of the garden. He made his way there and gazed at his apprentice. “Found your way back I see” said he as the prince cursed and spat leaves out of his mouth. “I got lost” said the prince, stating the obvious. For some unknown reason, the price grinned widely as he said this. The Mage was about to ask where he had ended up, and then thought otherwise. He didn't want to know.
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Ok so that's chapter 2. Just to reassure you that it wasn't simply a filler, Felynestra will be the focus of the next chapter or two and it will be told from her POV. What is going to happen is that she attends a royal ball and encounters some of the people that were at the council meeting including our two adventurers. The prince tries to charm her and makes a pass at her but she refuses. Taking her refusal for shyness, he approaches his father. Her father then randomly announces to her that she's engaged to the prince. Frustrated she dons her guise as the Nigh Rogue and goes into the streets of the city for some action. At some point in the night, she encounters guards and has to hide on a ship, which ends up departing in the morning (surprise suprise, it's the ship of our two adventurers)
Hope that wasn't too many spoilers but yeah just a preview of how this chapter affects the quest directly.
_________________
Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Posted: Sun Mar 23, 2008 2:49 am |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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Sounds like it's going to be interesting.
And I don't think it was spoilers, helped understand where she comes in.
Definitely can't wait to see what else your characters bring forth 
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:09 pm |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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ok well i finished the next chapter...hope its not too long Chapter 3: The Encounter
There was a cool breeze coming from the shore, refreshing the stall owners at the sharium who had stood in the hot sun all day. A portly stall owner lightly dabbed the sweat off his forehead as he peddled his wares. Lucky for them, the marketplace was located close to the docks. Felynestra was also appreciative of this fact as she stepped out of her carriage and sent it away, making her way to the stalls. She walked up and down the many rows of stalls and settled on the stall of one portly jewellery seller. She picked up various wares and held them up to examine them.
“How much for this blue necklace?” she asked. “30 dinari” said the stall owner, recognising that she was of noble birth. Felynestra held the necklace high and watched it glint in the sunlight. “30 dinari for a piece of glass? I don't want it anymore” she set it down and started to walk away, knowing full well it was a genuine sapphire. “Wait!” called the shop owner. Felynestra turned back and returned to the stall. “I'll give it to you for 25 dinari” said the shop owner. “20” “24” “20” “23” “21” “Done!” exclaimed the stall owner and handed Felynestra the piece as she handed him the 21 dinari. She placed the piece in her pouch and smiled happily. The necklace, in truth, was worth well over 21 dinari. A day's bargaining well done. She continued to stroll down the sharium when she stopped, hearing a voice behind her.
“Nice bargaining there, my Lady” said Prince Paran as she turned to face him, looking surprised. “How do you find yourself in the marketplace Your Highness?” she asked. “You could get anything imported and delivered to your palace.” The prince smiled at this and approached her. “I could say the same of you my Lady. Wandering around unaccompanied in the marketplace, my my” he teased. Felynestra laughed at his obviously sarcastic tone. “Well I'm not alone now” she said, smiling at him broadly. “No indeed” said the prince, smiling back. “Shall I escort you home?” he said as he offered her his arm. “I would be delighted” she said as she took his muscled arm. Funny and handsome, how nice, she thought to herself. They started to make their way back towards her home, meandering through the rows of stalls. “Might I say, my Lady, that you look radiant in the sunlight” said the prince. “I'm not sure I deserve such a compliment” replied Felynestra, slightly taken aback. “I assure you, madam, you certainly do” said Paran as they started to walk up Royal Hill, looking at her up and down. Felynestra noticed this out of the corner of her eye just as she was about to smile at the compliment. “So I hear you have decided to learn the magical arts.” she began, trying to draw attention to another topic of conversation. “I hope you are finding it fruitful.” “Indeed I am” replied the prince. “I'm sure I will excel at it quickly, just as I did with the sword.” said the prince, making reference to his status as the best swordsman on Orna. “And then you shall know the finest mage and swordsman on our fair island” said the price as he smiled at her widely. Felynestra gave a small smile in return. Pompous and arrogant, she thought to herself. And a liar. She always assumed that the new apprentice who kept producing balls of smoke from the Magus tower, was indeed the prince. It seemed to fit in with the fact that he began his studies so late. Yet, she never paid much attention to it until now. Arrogance and lying were two things she did not like much at all. Being pompous was expected of a prince. She did not respond and began to stare at a piece of shrubbery intently. “A fine friend to a fine woman” he continued, taking no notice of her silence, as he stopped to look at her. They were among the trees near the entrance to her home. Felynestra began to feel somewhat uncomfortable.
“Why have we stopped Your Highness? We are almost at the gate.” asked Felynestra. “That is exactly why we have stopped. I wanted to wish you a proper goodbye” he said. “I feel like we have gotten to know each other well beyond our stolen glances at balls.” he continued, drawing closer to her as she backed into a tree. He noticed that? She thought. That was only because her cousin kept fawning at him in a most unseemly manner. “I - I'm not sure what you mean” she stuttered. “I think it's time we go beyond these flirting glances at balls, in the bath, beyond banter” he said as he drew closer, not realising he had mentioned seeing her in the bath. He leaned close, one hand resting against the tree and looked at her with a smirk. She gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. In the bath? But how? Could that explain the unsettling feeling she had been getting while bathing? Felynestra began to feel sick. “Your Highness, I'm not sure this is entirely appropriate” she muttered as she slipped away and started to make her way quickly to the gate. The prince smiled, and caught her wrist. “Until next time, my Lady” he said and then let go, watching her as she ran towards the gate. “Until next time”
* * * * * * * * * * *
The floorboards creaked slightly as the captain paced to and fro on deck. “Chartman! Plot a course to the port of Callistro.” “Aye aye captain” responded the chartman. “Now, Mr. Stailes, why don't you prepare the Lord Astyrag and I a hearty breakfast? We have a long way to go.” “Aye aye captain, breakfast it is”
Felynestra awoke to the sound of voices coming from above. Was it morning already? Where was she? She scanned her surroundings and recalled that she had hidden below deck in one of the ships at the docks. She only meant to hide in there for a few hours. She frowned and stood up, once again scanning her surroundings. “I must get out of here before this ship leaves port” she whispered to herself, staring at the door. A rat scurried across the floor below her feet. She shuddered. Got to get out of here soon, she thought. But how? Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices from above deck. She strained to listen. She could only make out a few bits and pieces of the conversation.
“Plot a course...Callistro...prepare...a hearty breakfast...long way to go” she heard the voice say. Plot a course to Callistro? Prepare me a breakfast? “Curses!” she exclaimed emphatically and attempted to kick the rat. She missed and sat back down in exasperation. The ship already left port. Now what was she going to do? The scary thing is, she thought that being a stowaway on a ship with an unknown captain and unknown consequences was still better than what awaited her at home. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse lately, she thought to herself. She placed her head in her hands and sighed as she recalled the events of the previous night.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The blazing hot sun glared upon them as they circled each other in the clearing, waiting for the other to strike. Beads of sweat rolled down her neck as she panted and tightened her grip on her sword. He struck, lightening fast, like a hawk swooping down to catch its prey. She raised her sword and just managed to block his thrust, pushing him back and went for his neck with a sharp horizontal slash. He parried and scoffed.
“My my how easy it will be to defeat you. Weakling.” he said provocatively. He came in with a wide sweep but she deflected his sword with her own. She came in with a ferocious lunge which he only judge managed to dodge, escaping with a cut across his arm. She smirked. “And the weakling is the first to draw blood” she replied. “That's good sister, an opponent in battle may use words to rile you. To get distracted is to die.” said Ronin as he came in with a powerful hack. She ducked, rolled, and came at him from behind with a thrust. He was startled but managed to swing back just in time to block the thrust, again escaping with a cut to his side. He trained her well. She came in again, quick as light, aiming for his neck. “Well done, sister. If only father knew what kind of a woman he was setting the prince up with!” said Ronin. Felynestra faltered and Ronin managed to parry her attack. “The prince?” she asked, as he came at her once again. She lifted her sword to block his attack. “Don't you know? The king requested father's presence. He said it was a matter of urgency about you and the prince. Father is in the palace now talking to king.” said Ronin. She gasped audibly and faltered again. Their sword met but the strength of his attack overwhelmed her and she fell to the ground. He rested his sword at his sister's neck and looked down at her. “To get distracted is to die, sister. Remember that.” said he as he sheathed his sword and offered her a hand. She did not take it and stood up with a frown. “That wasn't fair, Ronin” she said, crossing her arms. “It never is, sister, that's the point.” he replied as she went to collect her dress from his pack and walked towards the stream. She emerged a few moments later wearing the dress and handed him the shirt, breeches, and boots that she had just worn. He placed it in his pack. “I'll see you home, Ronin.” said she and walked off quickly. She's a short-tempered one, she thought. You have much to learn yet, sister, much to learn.
Felynestra sighed as she walked through the front doors. “This better not be what I think it is” she muttered to herself. After that incident with the prince, she wasn't sure she would be able to handle another moment with him, let alone a lifetime. Pray, that's not it. She walked towards the stairs leading up to the rooms. “Daughter! There you are! I have been looking for you everywhere, my little strawberry.” exclaimed her father as he descended the stairs and gave her a big hug. No, God's no. This doesn't seem right. “I have wonderful news for you, little one. You have done well indeed” he began. The world began to spin and her heart began to beat faster. “What news, father?” she asked, not wanting to know. “Why, that you are betrothed to the prince! You have done so well, little strawberry, by catching his eye as you have. Our family will be one of the most powerful in the land! I am so proud of you.” She went pale and put one hand to her chest. Everything began to spin. The was a long silence before she replied. “B-betrothed? To the prince?” she asked hesitantly, hoping that she heard wrong. “Yes, yes! The prince was so taken by you, my dear, that he barged into one of the king's meetings with his advisors, and demanded that the king speak to me at once regarding a betrothal.” Felynestra seemed to stare off into space. “Daughter?” Felynestra closed her eyes and fell, as her father's voice grew distant and everything went black. Her father caught her just as Ronin walked in through the doors. “Son! Look! Your sister has fainted with joy upon hearing of her betrothal!” exclaimed the Lord as his daughter lay limp in his arms.
Felynestra awoke amidst the soft pillows and sheets of her bed. Slowly she sat up and walked towards the window. The white city was gleaming in the moonlight. Felynestra had been out for hours but her heart was still beating as fast. She sat back down on her bed and frowned. 'I don't want to marry him' she thought uselessly. The man was arrogant, lewd, and a liar. Even as princess, how could she be happy with a man like that? Most of all, she didn't love him and the idea of being cooped up in the ivory walls of the palace would make her feel like a caged bird. She sighed heavily. 'I have to find a way out of this', she thought to herself. She had found a way out of her tedious existence a long time ago, she remembered. When she was younger, she had stolen her brother's clothes and snuck out, dressed as a man. He wasn't as muscular then, so they were a good fit. She had worn a cloak, with her cowl pulled low over her eyes and none were the wiser. She used that opportunity to explore taverns and shady areas, to mingle with the commoners. Once she had learned to use a sword she often engaged in friendly duels or captured ruffians and left them for the guards. Her brother had one day caught her in a tavern and affectionately called her The Night Rogue. When the clothes had word out, he secretly had new ones made for her.
Felynestra walked over to her wardrobe and swung open its doors. She kneeled in front of it and carefully removed some loose floorboards to reveal a pair of black breeches, a white tunic, a leather belt, along with a pair of black boots, and her trusty dark cloak, lined in fine white embroidery. She ran her hands softly over the cloak. She then looked to the window, still stroking the cloaks fabric, and looked out pensively. Then slowly, she turned her head back to the pile of clothes in her hand. A moment later she grabbed her sword and was gone.
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Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:45 pm |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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Very good, shaping up to be a good story yet.
just random word of advice, check spelling as well and points of reference and you'll have a golden story in no time 
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 11:24 pm |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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well here is chapter 4  I hope it's alright...i corrected the mistakes you mentioned in chapter 3 ------- Chapter 4: The Escape
An hour later, Felynestra was walking aimlessly down the streets of Mykae. There were quite a few passers by, some going to taverns, some simply taking a stroll, others going home, and still others looking for the kind of service that was unmentionable in polite company. They all seemed like one unified blur to her. Ever since she was informed of her betrothal it was like time had slowed down for her. The walls of her room had started to close in on her and she could suddenly see the king announcing the news to one and all. In her minds eye, all she saw was that vile man, the prince, snaking his arms around her and Gods know what else. She was in a state of shock, numbness, and disbelief. It was like she was living a horrible nightmare. It was in this state, that she made her ill-judged decision to leave home. All she knew at the time, was that she had to get out, and go far away. And now, an hour later, the shock and numbness started to wear off, replaced by fear and panic. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Where was she? How did she get here? What was she going to do? Should she go home? Oh Gods, how could she ever marry that man?
She stopped dead in her tracks and for the first time in an hour, really looked around. The street was lined with several inns and taverns. Off to her far left stood several women of the night. On her right stood the taverns and inns. Several dark eyes seemed to glare at her threateningly. Her breathing quickened and her heart threatened to burst from its cage as she looked around frantically. Tears started to well up in her eyes as it hit her like a ton of bricks. What was she thinking? She left home, with nowhere to go, and was now lost. Not only that, but she was due to be married to a horrible man that she didn't love. Everything threatened to overwhelm her. How did she ever imagine that she was in a fit state to go outside? Scared, lost, and now obviously about to cry, she would be an easy target for any thief or murderer. She was in no state to defend herself if, Gods forbid, any such thing should happen.
She was jolted out of her thoughts when a man bumped into her quite rudely. She looked back at him and then spotted the Leaky Boat Tavern and Inn. That was a familiar sight, she wasn't so lost after all. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears, and started to walk towards the place. She needed to sit down, and calm down, before deciding how to get home or indeed, whether to go home at all. She had come to the Leaky Boat before with her brother. Hopefully he would be there, or perhaps a familiar face that might be able to help her get word to her brother, to come pick her up. She stopped at the door, and took another deep breath for good measure, before stepping inside.
The Leaky Boat Tavern and Inn was a favourite among local tradesmen and visiting sailors. It housed a wide selection of fine ales, had several clean rooms to stay in, and was a popular choice for local women of the night to bring their customers. All the more entertainment for the Leaky Boat's patrons. The tavern was decorated with a ship's steering wheel, a painting of a mermaid, and an anchor mounted on the wall. Tonight, its patrons were laughing heartily with companions or entertaining several wenches. A group of guards sat around a table, playing a game of cards. Felynestra ignored everyone else and walked straight towards a familiar figure sitting at a small round table. She sat down opposite Fingar Wulfson, one of her brother's most trusted friends. They had met several times previously, when her brother brought her to the Leaky Boat. Fingar was from the bitter northern country of Volbard. He had come from the north on one of his people's great longships, and had been abandoned in Mykae. He was now looking to join a new crew. Proud and stoic, he never discussed personal problems at great length and refused to say much more than that. But, he was a kind man and seemed genuinely concerned when Felynestra sat at his table, looking as if she was about to shatter into a thousand pieces. She sighed as she sat down, and asked a passing barmaid to bring her a glass of wine.
“Felynestra. What on Nios can be the matter? And where is Ronin?” asked Fingar. The barmaid arrived with her glass of wine and Felynestra lifted her glass and took a sip. Fingar looked at her intently waiting for an answer. The glass was shaking in her hand. She noticed Fingar looking at her glass and she put it back down on the table. “Family problems. Ronin is not here. I got lost and needed to sit down and think” she said. Fingar nodded in understanding. Being a private man himself, he understood the need to sit down and contemplate. Still, she looked frazzled. Whatever it was, it must have been serious. Felynestra continued to sip her wine. “Do you think we could somehow get word out to Ronin to come and escort me home?” Fingar nodded once again. “Fear not, I shall be glad to help in any way. We shall find someone to relay the message. If I knew the way to your home from here I would escort you myself.” Felynestra smiled at him and he returned the smile. She had only known him a few weeks, and not as well as her brother, but he seemed much nicer than her regular “friends”. Those vacuous women at court were anything but compassionate. She put her hand over his. “Thank you, Fingar. Your friendship and aid means a lot to me.” Fingar seemed uncomfortable and withdrew his hand, but smiled again. She seemed to be feeling better, her glass no longer shook in her hands, he observed. Felynestra frowned and furrowed her brows. “What is that noise? Those guards are being extra loutish today.” Fingar grinned under his blond beard. “It's a tavern Felynestra, all the customers get loutish at some point” Felynestra laughed, distracted for a moment from her troubles. “My dear Fingar, that is a gross generalisation. But look, there seems to be some commotion” She nodded her head towards the guards. The four of them sat around a table, gambling. One guard laughed loudly as he slapped a passing barmaid's rear. The brunette promptly responded with a resounding slap, causing his companions to laugh at him. A civilian started laughing too. The guard was now glaring at the still laughing man intensely, stood up abruptly, and walked towards the man who had now stopped laughing. “I'll be back” said Felynestra absently as she began to walk over to them. “I wouldn't get involved Felynestra” said Fingar. She didn't seem to hear him and walked off anyway. He stood up as well and began to follow
“You sir are under arrest for disorderly conduct” said the guard, red faced, and rather angry. “With all due respect sir, this is a tavern, everyone should be arrested for disorderly conduct” replied the man. The guard now walked towards the unarmed man menacingly and his companions stood up. Felynestra made her way to the scene, pulling her cowl low over her face, and stepped between the two. “He's right, you know. Legally, you can't arrest him. Very few are convicted for simply being 'disorderly'” said Felynestra. She looked at the guard intently from under her cowl. The guard glared at her murderously. “You made a mistake by opening your mouth boy” he spat. “You are under arrest for aiding a criminal” said the guard angrily, as he pulled out a pair of shackles and grabbed her wrist. He was about to shackle her when he stopped and simply held her wrist in his hand. He looked at it intently. Felynestra panicked and unconsciously clenched and unclenched her free hand, a move that did not go unnoticed by Fingar who was fast approaching. The guard looked to his companions and laughed as he held on to her wrist tightly. Felynestra tried to wriggle her wrist out of his grip. What if he recognised her? “Well, well, it seems that he is in fact a she! When you're locked up in that jail cell, I'm going to -” The guard was interrupted by Fingar who suddenly appeared and shoved the guard into a wall. “RUN!” he yelled as he pulled out his sword. Felynestra ran as fast as she could out of the tavern. She was able to gain a short head start before a guard emerged from the tavern and ran after her. She darted into a side street and then hid in an alley way. She panted heavily as she stopped running, but held her breath when the guard drew close.
“You can't hide forever” yelled the guard. “I'll be searching for you all night if that's what it takes” Felynestra mentally cursed. She needed to find a way to get away from this drunk, corrupt, guard. She sighed in relief as he passed her and turned into an adjacent street. She looked to the far end of the alleyway and then back to where she came from. Can't go back there, she thought. He'll be searching all over that area. She started to walk towards the far end of the alleyway and turned into another side street, ending up at the docks, out in the open. She could still hear the guard yelling from one of the nearby streets. She panicked and looked around for places to hide. She crouched behind a nearby crate, looking around for a better place to hide. She needed to find somewhere she could hide out until he gave up searching for her. Behind her, off to the left lay a large, empty looking ship. The words “The Black Dragon” were painted on its side in white. It looked perfect! An empty ship! She could hide in there quite easily until she was sure the guard left. He would never think of looking for her inside a ship, and would soon give up. She crouched down and quietly made her way to the ship. She quickly looked around to check if the coast was clear, then climbed over the side and made her way on deck. The ship was indeed quite empty, and would be a safe hiding place. Still, she shouldn't just stand around on deck. She might be seen! She made her way to the stairs leading below deck. She made her way down to the ballista deck. On this deck was an array of ballistas lining each side of the ship. These were giant-crossbows that could fire projectile spheres or shafts at enemy ships. She ran her hands along one ballista. They were beautiful and deadly.
Suddenly, she heard some noises from above. There was a thud followed by what sounded like various drunken shouts. Her heart was beating fast and she cursed inwardly. That must be the crew returning! She heard foot steps descending the stairs and quickly made her way, as quietly as she could to the next flight of stairs leading to the mess and living quarters. However, she was again followed by the footsteps and several sounds of laughter. She looked around and saw a third flight of stairs. She quickly made her way there and descended into the darkness of the cargo hold. Oh Fortuna, great Goddess of fate, she thought, please let me get out of this predicament. She sat on a crate and used her sharp Oceanid hearing to listen in on the sounds coming from above. Activity on the deck immediately above was loudest followed by the upper decks. She had to wait until the ship was quiet, a sign that the crew was asleep, before she could sneak off. She had only planned to hide here a few minutes until the guard had given up! She sighed and continued to listen as she grimly thought of her situation. Her immediate concern was getting out of the ship but when that was done, she had to contend with her betrothal. A bolt of fear struck her entire body for a brief second, at the thought of her betrothal. She sighed again as the sounds of the crew's merriment showed no signs of dying. One would have thought that they must be tired after a night on the town, and indeed that is what Felynestra assumed. But, she was mistaken, sadly mistaken. It was going to be a long night.
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Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:14 am |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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Well forgive the double post but since Nightwolf already told me what she thought of chapter 4 on msn, figured I would go ahead and post chapter 5. Maybe I should create a separate blog for this so as not to take up posting space while I'm writing the story. Anyways here i chapter 5  ----------- Chapter 5: A Stowaway
Astyrag leaned on the side of the deck, staring at the ocean and looking very green. This was the first time he had ever been on a boat, much less out of Orna. The seas were relatively calm that morning but the steady, swaying, motion of the small to medium sized ship did not seem to agree with his stomach. The Captain, Lord Junibar, walked up to Astyrag, slapped him on the back, and rested his hand on the younger Oceanid's shoulder. “Feeling a bit sea-sick are we?” asked Junibar. Asytrag simply nodded and sank to the floor like a lead weight, sitting against the side of the ship. He had grown quite pale and his parrot green eyes had dimmed slightly. An Oceanid's eyes were one of the only features that could distinguish them from humans. For the most part, they looked like relatively tall humans. It was the iridescent eyes and the glassy nails that told them apart. Higher level priests and priestesses of Meranwa however, like High Priest Garrian, gradually developed blue-tinted skin as they got closer to their Goddess and natural element. The dimming of the eyes in any Oceanid though was a sign of sickness and Junibar had noticed this.
“You just need to develop your sea legs and you'll be fine enough. Any Oceanid worth his salt does not stay seasick for long!” he exclaimed. “It's time for breakfast now” Junibar added, as Astyrag paled even more at the mention. “We'll take our meal in my cabin and I'll have the cook prepare a medicinal infusion for you. Is that satisfactory?” he asked. Astyrag nodded and stood up, clutching onto the side of the ship. “That sounds better, I'm in no mood for food at the moment. That infusion better work if we are to be at sea for a week.” Junibar smiled crookedly, his lips curling upward. “Enough time for your sea legs to develop eh?” replied Junibar, causing Astyrag to glare at him irritatedly. Junibar smiled briefly and then suddenly, yelled for the cook. “STAILES!” he called loudly, causing Astyrag to jump. “Yes, Captain?” asked the cook as he emerged hurriedly from the ship's galley. “We shall take our breakfast now, bring it to my cabin” instructed Junibar. “Prepare an infusion for Lord Astyrag, he is feeling a little seasick.” “Aye aye, Captain” replied Stailes. He looked at Astyrag briefly with a slightly amused expression before hurrying back to the galley.
“That man always hurries about” observed Astyrag as they walked towards the Captain's quarters. Junibar smiled crookedly again. “Yes, he does, very much like a little rat. Nevertheless, the crew mustn't grow sluggish. It's not good for our mission.” said Junibar abstractedly as he opened the door. That's an odd comment, thought Astyrag as he followed Junibar into the cabin. Junibar gestured Astyrag to sit down and he did so as Junibar brought out a map that plotted their course, and rolled it out onto the table. He placed his finger on their current location and traced their course. “There, you see” began Junibar with a strange fervour. “At this pace, we may reach Callistro in merely 5 more days instead of 6, including today. We had left port yesterday morning and thank Adderand we were blessed with windward passage. We are ahead of schedule!” exclaimed Junibar excitedly. Astyrag looked at his companion thoughtfully. Lord Junibar seemed to possess some sort of strange urgency to reach port and complete the mission, more so than one would normally expect. “At this pace we may be able to gain an advantage when we reach Callistro. Solarnus is less than a day's journey up river from Callistro.” he continued pointing to the city on the map. “I'm afraid Poldien is much farther away, in the east, and so your journey may take much longer.” finished Junibar as he pointed to the forest kingdom of Loriell and looked at Astyrag.
Just then, there was a light knock on the door. “Come in.” answered Junibar. The door opened slowly and in walked Stailes bearing several plates of food, an herbal infusion in a black ceramic cup, and a glass of redberry juice for the Captain, all on a large tray. “Thank you Stailes” said Junibar as he rolled up the map and put it away. Stailes picked up the plates of food from the tray and put them on the table. He placed the ceramic cup in front of Astyrag who nodded thanks and placed the finely crafted glass goblet in front of the Captain's seat. He then bowed and left the room as Junibar sat down and began to eat his meal. Astyrag simply sipped at his infusion, which tasted slightly bitter he observed, and made a face. His stomach was in no state for consuming anything at the moment but the infusion already started to help. He turned to Junibar who was devouring his meal rather quickly. “I do apologize for not participating more in our discussion as I still feel rather ill.” began Astyrag, still looking pale but less than before. “But, as long as I am able to accomplish this mission for His Majesty with satisfaction, then I am not concerned with how long it takes to do so. Is it not more important that we accomplish our mission well?” asked Astyrag. Lord Junibar's eyes darkened strangely. “Yes...that is true.” he replied distractedly, seemingly lost in thought once again. Junibar is hiding something, observed Astyrag. Astyrag only hoped that whatever he was hiding it was not something that may lure Junibar away from acting in the mission's best interests.
Suddenly the door burst open and a deck hand ran into the cabin, panting slightly. Junibar stood up with indignation but before he could say anything the deck hand cut in. “I'm sorry for the interruption Captain but this is urgent! We have a stowaway. He was found skulking around in the hold, gnawing away at our bread supply!” Astyrag now stood up as well and looked to Junibar who seemed deep in thought. “A stowaway eh?” replied the Captain, finally. “Come my Lord, let us see who has been diminishing our precious food supply” finished Junibar. He walked onto the main deck quickly as Astyrag followed, trying to keep up. Having finally caught up with him, Astyrag turned to him with a concerned expression on his face. “A spy, do you think?” asked Astyrag as he watched the crew restrain a struggling cloaked figure, and drag him onto the main deck. “We shall see” replied Junibar, staring at the figure.
“BRING HIM FORTH!” shouted Junibar. The crew immediately turned the figure roughly to face the Captain. The stowaway stared at the Captain and his companion defiantly, but also with an expression of shocked recognition. Likewise, Astyrag stood mouth agape and even the Captain himself stared at the figure wide eyed, with an uncharacteristically bewildered expression on his face. A moment later he composed himself and smirked crookedly at the stowaway who was still struggling. “Well, well, if it isn't Lady Felynestra.” The crew gasped and started muttering to themselves. “QUIET!” shouted Junibar, raising his hand. He walked towards her slowly. “Unhand the Lady if you please” he continued. The two deckhands who were restraining her released her immediately. She rubbed at her arms. The deckhands had been holding her a little too tightly. Astyrag, watching the scene unfold, still stood in abject shock and horror. He wondered just how Junibar could remain so composed, and even amused, at this extremely strange situation. Junibar took her hand and bent down to kiss it. He then rose and looked her in the eye. “Now tell me, my Lady, how have you found yourself aboard my ship, and in the hold no less?” asked Junibar. “And dressed as a man!” added Astyrag. Felynestra looked away fearfully. Then, slowly, she lifted her gaze to look at the two men.
“My Lords, she began, first let me apologise for stowing away in your ship. I was chased by a drunken rabble the night before the ship left port, and fearing for my life, saw no safer place to hide temporarily than a seemingly empty ship.” Junibar looked at her suspiciously. “But, why were you around the docks in the first place? And at night? Surely a Lady such as yourself must have known that it was a dangerous area,” replied Junibar as he folded his arms. Then, Fingar stepped out from the crowd, much to Felynestra's astonishment. “You know him?” asked Astyrag, noticing her surprised expression. Before she could reply Fingar faced the Captain and began to speak. “Much as I am shocked to find her here of all places, I can vouch for the Lady's story. I was with her that night and helped her escape the drunken rabble.” Felynestra looked at Fingar with an expression of thanks, and Astyrag noticed. Junibar, however, still looked slightly suspicious. “If I may say so Captain, I think they are telling the truth.” began Astyrag. “But” he continued, “That does not explain why she is dressed as a man and was there in the first place.” “Private business” replied Felynestra curtly. “Well whatever the reason and circumstances, she is still a Lady, and so shall be pardoned.” said Junibar. “However, no more hiding in the hold.” he continued and smiled crookedly at her. “A cabin shall be prepared for you” he finished. “Trueblade!” shouted the Captain. “Yes, Captain?” replied Trueblade. “Prepare a room for the Lady” “Aye aye, Captain” replied Trueblade as the crowd dispersed, returning to their respective duties.
“May I have a word with you, Captain?” asked Astyrag, placing a hand on Junibar's arm. He looked at Junibar with a concerned expression. Junibar turned to look at him nodded. “His Lordship and I will discuss what to do with you. You may retire to your cabin and we will inform you once a decision is made” said Junibar bluntly. “All done Captain” said the returning Trueblade, awaiting further instruction. “Very good, Trueblade. Now, if you will show the Lady to her room.” “Aye aye, Captain” replied Trueblade as he turned to Felynestra. “If you will accompany me, my Lady.” said Trueblade. Felynestra followed him and Astyrag followed her with his eyes. Felynestra turned back to look at Astyrag. They had met previously at a ball and there was nothing suspicious about her then. In fact, she was quite entertaining and witty. Although the circumstances are strange now, he did like her at the ball, he thought. His intuition told him that although her story was strange, she was neither a spy nor up to anything suspicious. Besides, she was a high ranking Lady after all and he would try to ensure that she was treated well.
Astyrag then turned to face Junibar, when Felynestra was out of sight. “We must take her back” he said to Junibar. “No. No time for that. We take her to Callistro with us and then find a way to send her back” replied Junibar dismissively. Astyrag balked. The right thing to do was to return her safely home as soon as possible. “Take her with us?! You can't be serious?” “Do I look like I'm joking?” replied Junibar sarcastically. Junibar was staring out at the ocean and did not seem very interested in what Astyrag had to say. Worrying about a simpering woman was the least of his concerns. “We can't do that!” exclaimed Astyrag. “We are not far from Mykae. We can turn back and send her home. It's the right thing to do. We must bring her home” “No time!” replied Junibar irritatedly. Astyrag stared at him. The man was obsessed with the duration of the trip! “There's no time to turn back! We must act swiftly. It is in the best interests of the king” finished Junibar as he finally turned to look at Astyrag. “We only left yesterday morning!” exclaimed Astyrag in exasperation. “This is not proper. We must return her safely home.” “Even if we turned back now we would be travelling against the wind, which would take longer. Who knows what the thieves are doing with the Crystal by now. We cannot afford to lose valuable time.” replied Junibar calmly, but firmly. Astyrag sighed. “You have a point about the crystal, I'll give you that. But look, even if we take her to Callistro with us it would take some time to find a suitable ship to send her home on. Either way we lose time.” “You're right” began Junibar. “Thank you! I'm glad you see it my way.” replied Astyrag. “We shall take her with us on the mission” finished Junibar with determination. Astyrag looked at him with wide eyes. Is he mad? That would put the Lady in danger and jeopardize the mission. Junibar was not making much sense.
Thinking that the final word on the matter, Junibar began to walk away. Astyrag caught up with him quickly and stood in front of him to block his path. “Take her with us? We are splitting up at Callistro remember, who would she go with? And even if we take her with us she would slow us down considerably. The whole country is at stake! She may jeopardize the mission! We cannot spend time catering for and worrying about a Lady of the court! And if someone at home finds out about this, we could be in trouble!” exclaimed Astyrag with frustration. Junibar smiled at him crookedly. “Calm down, my Lord. You look like you are about to bust a vein” replied Junibar with amusement. “Do not fret. If our mission is successful she will be honoured for her bravery at home. And moreover, to make sure she does not slow us down we shall just have to teach her how to be useful won't we? Can't turn back now, Astyrag.” said Junibar with finality.
Junbar started to walk towards Felynestra's cabin and Astyrag followed. “Wait! Can't we discuss this further?” asked Astyrag with an expression of shock on his face as they reached the door. This was simply unheard of. He would need to sit down later and think about this. Junibar turned to face him. “No. As captain this is my final decision” replied Junibar. He then knocked on the door. “Enter” called Felynestra. Junibar and Astyrag entered the room and Felynestra stood up, looking at them with anticipation. “Unfortunately we are not going to send you home, my Lady” began Junibar. Strangely, Astyrag observed, she seemed to be somewhat relieved by this. “We are on a very important mission for King Taral and our country. We have no time to turn back now. But, neither can we wait on you. From now on, you will need to make yourself useful on the ship in order to earn your lodging here. Fingar seems to know you so he shall instruct you and show you what you need to do.” finished Junibar. Felynestra's eyes widened and she looked at them with an expression of surprise and confusion on her face, as if she did not fully understand. She hadn't worked a day in her life! How was she to make herself useful? Moreover, what was this mission that was so important? And what did it mean for her? “And when we arrive at port. What then, my Lords?” asked Felynestra apprehensively. Junibar smirked. “You will need to be trained in some necessary skills for what comes next and, at some point, we will need to fill you in on the details of our mission.” replied Junibar. Felynestra furrowed her brows and looked at Junibar searchingly as if trying to understand his meaning. “Why is that?” asked Felynestra.
There was a long pause before Junibar grinned at her and then turned to exit as Astyrag followed. “Wait! My Lords! Tell me what yo mean, I need to know!” She called. As they reached the door Junibar stopped to look back at her before they left the room. He smirked. “Because, fair Lady, you're coming with us.”
_________________
Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:50 am |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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So doesn't seem as if you're double posting, figured reply here.
I liked how chapter 5 turned out, the ending left you wanting to know what happens next in chapter 6.
The beginning, admittedly was a bit of a slow start, but was needed to transition in, so you did good
So hurry up with chapter 6. Want to know what happens, heh.
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 12:16 am |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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Ok well I know it has been more than 3 months but being busy with work this summer kept me from sitting down and trying to get over my writers block. But, I have finally done chapter 6. I was having problems with the storm scene. I hope you guys like it  ------------------- Chapter 6: The Storm
Junibar stood at the helm, staring out to sea, his eyes reaching for the distant horizon. The sky was filled from end to end with grey clouds, and his shoulder length hair whipped in the wind. He gripped the helm tightly, and his heart clenched as he looked out to sea intensely. There was nothing there except for clouds, more clouds, and the choppy sea. Yet, in his minds eye Junibar saw Solarnus. He peered into his memories and all he could see was her and him. A long time ago, he watched her vanish before his eyes because of him. Junibar couldn't do a thing to stop it then. He knew that this mission was for King and Country, but he couldn't help it, he couldn't take it any more. Ashgoth Maynne would pay for what he did to her. For fifty whole years Junibar carried out his duties in Orna. Fifty years, in truth, is not much at all for an Oceanid, but to him it felt like an eternity. He thought he had safely buried those memories away but when King Taral gave him the opportunity to go back to Solarnus, the memories came flooding back. It was like he had been engulfed in a tidal wave. He had to get there, he had to deal with Maynne, he just had to, thought Junibar as he clenched his jaw, for her.
Junibar turned around briefly to look at Felynestra scrubbing away at the floor, with a very sour expression on her face. He relaxed his grip on the helm. Felynestra looked so much like her. Perhaps that was why he was being so harsh on her, so much more insistent on getting to Solarnus. He may have given her too many duties to carry out for one day, and looking at her scrubbing away so tiredly made him feel bad. He looked back at Felynestra again to find Astyrag approaching her. He is a good person, but Astyrag just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that for Junibar things stopped being so black and white when she was taken.
Felynestra stood on her hands and knees, scrubbing hard at the deck and mumbling under her breath. She looked up at Junibar, who was looking back at her, and frowned. He looked so serene standing there at the helm, so serene watching her suffer. All day Junibar had her doing something or the other and when she completed her task, he criticized it and told her to do it again. She had already swabbed the deck earlier in the day but Junibar insisted that it wasn't clean enough and barked at her to scrub it again. Fingar had said that the Captain must be in considerable stress. Fingar always tried to be understanding of other people's situations, one reason why she's friends with him. She looked up at Fingar who was rigging the sails, and it looked like he was mouthing something to her. She squinted. “I'm sorry” was it? Why would he be sorry? It must have been “don't worry”. She sighed and kept telling herself that this was a learning experience, and that she was doing something useful for once. She looked at the floor again only to find it covered in shadow. She looked up and saw Astyrag looking down at her. He offered her a hand. She took it and stood up.
“I'd like to apologize for your treatment” began Astyrag, looking at her sincerely. “No woman of your standing should have to...” “No, stop right there” cut in Felynestra. “I appreciate your concern Astyrag but I am trying to view this as a learning experience. All my life I have never had to lift a finger. I have spent my entire life in the company of vacuous, vapid, and shallow people. For once, I feel useful. I am doing my part for some greater good. It's just the amount of work I have been doing today. Apparently, new crew members do not work this hard on their first day. I fear I am being put to more use than necessary but I am trying to be positive” she finished. Astyrag was surprised by statement, though pleasantly so. Upper class Oceanid women usually did not view things in the same light as Felynestra. It was refreshing and he somehow felt as if some weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Astyrag smiled. “Well, I'm glad to hear that you are viewing this in a positive light. As for Junibar, well...” said Astyrag as he ran his hands through his chocolate brown hair. “Well, I'm not sure about him. Since we left Mykae he has been acting a little strange. I could speak to him in your behalf if you like.” offered Astyrag. Felynestra smiled and began to laugh. Astyrag looked at her in bewilderment. “Loosen up, will you? You're as stiff as a corpse. I am quite capable of speaking to Junibar myself, you know.” Astyrag grinned. “Well, I haven't met too many women like you. So outspoken and independent” replied Astyrag in a mocking tone. Felynestra laughed. “Oh Gods forbid it!” retorted Felynestra sarcastically. Astyrag laughed heartily. “I have a feeling that travelling with you won't be bad at all” said Astyrag. Felynestra smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I guess not.” She felt a drop of rain on her hand, then another, and another. It had started to rain heavily. Felynestra and Astyrag both turned to look at the horizon. They were heading into the heart of a storm. “Brace yourselves men!” called Junibar. “We ride out the storm!”
* * * * * * * * * * *
The cleric's hands shook as he slowly recited the incantation. He appeared to be deep in concentration yet riddled with fear at the same time. The figure behind him pressed the dagger harder against his throat and the cleric whimpered. The figure held his grip on the cleric as he slowly ran his dagger across the cleric's palm, drawing blood to complete the incantation. Blood in both large and small amounts, is the most precious and powerful offering one could give to a God.
“Is it done?” growled the figure. The cleric whimpered again, and opened his eyes which were glistening with fear. “Y-y-yes, Your Highness, it is done” stuttered the shaken cleric. The Prince released the cleric from his grip slowly. “But, I don't know if our Great Goddess Meranwa will accept the offering and...” Prince Paran snarled and once again pressed his dagger against the cleric's throat. “It better work. And not a word, understand me?!” he growled into the cleric's ear. “Y—y-yes, Your Majesty” he stuttered, visibly terrified. “Good,” replied the Prince as he released the cleric once more. “because one word and I'll have you thrown in the deepest darkest dungeon you could imagine” finished the Prince threateningly as he disappeared from the room.
The cleric immediately fell to his knees began to cry. A timid man, he had never been threatened in much a manner before. He looked up at the statue of Meranwa and stared into her face, reverently and desperately. She was holding a trident in one hand, pearls in another, and wore a crown of shells. But he was too scared and worried to think of the symbolism now. “What have I done...Goddess help us..” he whispered. “Goddess help us all”.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The ship thrashed violently in the throws of the storm. Below deck, in of the sleeping quarters, a bed slid quickly to the left and crashed into the wall. Felynestra and Astyrag held desperately onto a shelf which was bolted onto the right wall of the room. The boat thrashed again and this time the bed careened towards the right side side of the room. Felynestra screamed. It was going to crash into the shelf. Felynestra and Astyrag quickly dashed to the side just in the nick of time as the bed crashed into, and destroyed, the shelf. Piles of books and various other items fell to the floor.
“Oh dear” said Astyrag, looking at the pile of books worriedly. “Oh dear? Oh dear?! That's all you can say?!” exclaimed Felynestra irritatedly. “Well the captain won't be too pleased about his shelf” replied Astyrag, looking entirely serious. Felynestra narrowed her eyes at him. “You said it would be safer down here” she accused. “Well I don't know! As exciting as this is, I've never been at sea before let alone in a storm!” he exclaimed. At this moment Astyrag felt more concern than fear at this dangerous situation. Although, in truth, he felt secretly exhilarated. This storm, with all its thrashing, had awoken something deeply primal inside of him. A deep sense of being one with the sea, however life threatening that may be at the moment. Felynestra made her way to the door as carefully as she could. “I'm going to take my chances upstairs” she said. “You coming?”Astyrag nodded and managed to get to the door just in time to avoid being smacked by another careening piece of furniture.
Up on deck, the crew was panicking. Fingar, however, looked as cool as cucumber as he held onto the ship as best as he could and stared into the storm. A whirlpool had just formed before his eyes, and then another one right next to it. He gasped. The ship was heading right between both of them. “O Ye Gods” he whispered in shock and awe. He deemed it unwise to ride out the storm in the first place. His people usually waited out storms because their great longships, though majestic, were not big enough to withstand violent storms such as this one.
“Loose the sails!” cried Junibar. “The wind is in our favour men! The only way out of this is to sail between the whirlpools” yelled Junibar. His hair whipped around wildly and his eyes seemed to have a certain gleam to them, as if he was struck with a brilliant idea. The crew didn't seem to fully understand the logic of this plan for surely there was a greater chance of being sucked into one of the whirlpools. “He's right!” cried Astyrag as he emerged with Felynestra from below deck. “The whirlpools are flowing in opposite directions!” he continued. The ship rocked wildly and half the crew were almost knocked off their feet. “It creates a channel!” exclaimed Astyrag. Fingar, who could now spot the channel in between marvelled at the Captain's genius. “Loose the sails men!” yelled Junibar once again. “This is the only way to survive this. Do you trust me?” he shouted and the crew yelled enthusiastically in return.
Several crew members were already climbing the rigging including Fingar. Felynestra looked up and feared for her friend's life. How is it possible to climb such a height in this weather without slipping? Some minutes later the sails came loose and Junibar steered the ship as best as he could between the whirlpools. The ship rocked precariously towards one side, almost tipping into one of the whirlpools as a great wave splashed onto the deck sending Fingar, who had safely gotten down from the rigging, careening towards one side. Astyrag and Felynestra were holding on tightly to the side of the ship and Junibar, seeing the danger to Fingar who might fall overboard, quickly handed the wheel to a crew member and caught him just in time. He held onto Fingar until the force of the force of the storm pushed the ship in the other direction and the ship righted itself. “You saved my life. I am indebted to you” said Fingar with genuine gratitude. “Think nothing of it” replied Junibar as he took the wheel again.
The force of the storm now seemed to lessen and the ship was at the midpoint of the channel. Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a giant sea serpent emerged from the centre of the port side whirlpool. The crew gasped. “Holy piss of the Gods!” swore Astyrag. “How in Nios is this possible?!” exclaimed Felynestra incredulously. “Defend the ship! Attack the beast!” yelled Junibar as the serpent let out a great roar. The crew quickly mobilised. Felynestra handed ammunition over to those loading the ballistas and Astyrag took command of the attack above deck. The serpent bared its teeth and headed straight for the ship. Junibar looked towards Astyrag and nodded. “FIRE!” yelled Astyrag as the ballistas let loose a barrage of spears and spiked iron balls at the serpent. By this time the ballistas below deck had also begun firing under the command of various midshipmen. The projectiles held the serpent back although they seemed to bounce right off its skin.
Felynestra swore as she continued to hand ammunition to those working the ballistas. She looked up at the serpent who slowly lowered its head towards the ship, which was now almost at the end of the channel. Despite the barrage of projectiles, it seemed to look right at her. Her eyes glowed brightly as she feel into a trance. The serpent too, did not attack and simply started at her. The crew continued firing to minimal effect and Astyrag looked between the serpent and Felynestra. She was trying to communicate with the beast. Oceanids, you see, had an innate ability to speak to sea creatures if they wish to. That's one reason why they made such good fishermen. The Oceanid fishermen, for the most part, were able to somehow convince fish to jump into their fishing nets. It's no surprise that they tended to be the most glib and silver tongued fishermen in all of Nios.
“It's very agitated! Something's controlling it!” Felynestra yelled, never breaking her gaze with the serpent. No living mage can summon a serpent so great, thought Astyrag. Unless it was by Divine intervention, but it can't be. Can it? “The beast is vulnerable! Aim for the neck! Under its head!” yelled Junibar. Junibar was right for that was the serpent's only sensitive spot. “FIRE” yelled Astyrag once again.
Below deck, Fingar was firing projectiles at the serpent from one of the ballistas. He looked through the opening in the side of the ship and watched several projectiles hit a single spot under the serpent's head, managing to tear the skin. The serpent, wounded, reared its head and roared. Those below deck saw what was happening and aimed for the same spot. The serpent's skin however, was too strong and all the projectiles did was create many more small tears. It might be just enough to get out of the channel safely but the serpent may then follow the ship. At this rate, we'll never escape, thought Fingar. Just as he was loading his ballista a thought occurred to him. He looked at his sword which seemed to gleam. The sword was a gift from his people and legend goes that it was forged from Prithin, the strongest metal on Nios, and then bathed in dragon's blood. Legend goes that the magic in the dragon's blood enchanted and strengthened the sword so that it could pierce through anything. Fingar knew that no matter how far he threw it, it would always return to its bearer. That was one of its magical properties. Now was the perfect time however, to test it's strength. Instead of a spear, Fingar kissed his sword and loaded it into the ballista. He carefully aimed it at the widest wound under the roaring serpent's head, and fired.
The crew above deck stared mouth agape as a gleaming flash of silver, a sword, pierced right through the serpent's skull and into its brain. The serpent, now dead, crashed into the water and was sucked into the whirlpool as the sword zoomed back towards the ship, and presumably to its owner. The crew cheered. The ship was now safely out of the channel and the storm calmed.
Hours later, the ship glided across the calm, shimmering, sea as the crew went about their duties. Felynestra placed her hands onto the side of the ship and stared out to sea. Junibar spotted her, and handed the wheel to a crew member. He walked over to her and stood by her side. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry for treating you so poorly earlier.” he said as he stared at her. She turned her head slowly and looked him right in the eyes. “With the storm and the serpent that has attacked us, my earlier duties are the least of my concern. The serpent was controlled, and no living mage could summon one of those” she said worriedly. “You think it was a God then? Our Goddess?” asked Junibar. “But why would She do that? After all, are we not on this mission for Her?” replied Felynestra with concern. Junibar smiled and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face softly. “Not to worry, my dear” he began. Felynestra blushed at the action, though she knew not why. “Perhaps it was a test. Meranwa needs to trust that only the bravest, strongest, and most successful are sent on the mission and the way you took on that serpent was very brave. He would have been too strong for most ordinary Oceanids to try and communicate with” finished Junibar. “But not too strong for you” smiled Felynestra. “Maybe not” replied Junibar as he looked into her eyes. “Have you travelled on a ship before?” asked Junibar suddenly, on impulse. Her smile was very endearing. “No, not this far” replied Felynestra. “Would you like to come try your hand at the steering?” asked Junibar, still looking into her eyes. They were so intense, thought Felynestra. The storm and the serpent was now far from her mind. She smiled delightedly. “I'd love to!” she exclaimed.
Fingar looked at Junibar and Felynestra at the steering wheel. They looked relaxed and the crew did not seem agitated anymore after the attack. Some of them were quite cheerful indeed, hailing him as hero for slaying the giant serpent. Fingar was a modest man and did not dwell on the adulation he received. He had heard of the mission Astyrag, Junibar, and Felynestra were embarking on. Word had already spread through the ranks of the crew. All three of them looked fairly tranquil at this moment. This was a good thing for one needs a calm mind in order to fight best, he thought. A focused team, makes a very deadly one, and they would need to be very good to succeed.
_________________
Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 2:15 am |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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not meaning to double post but chapter 7 is ready. I will keep posting the chapters as they come if theres any further interest. Chapter 7: Callistro
At the southern most point of the human country of Solaria lay the port town of Callistro, which sat at the mouth of the river Snake. Many Sylphs and Dragons have commented on the way the river resembled a silver-tinted snake when the sun shone upon it, giving it the nickname Silver Snake. Being a port, one would expect Callistro to be a much larger, more bustling town. Instead, while it is busy as a pit stop on the way to Solarnus, it is by no means as busy as the Solarian capital. Callistro was built late in the Second Age, much later than Solarnus which had connections to the rest of the country. As a result, many merchants from various parts of the world, including Orna, would stop by Callistro to transfer their goods to local merchants who would then deliver the goods to Solarnus. Alternatively merchants would pass by Callistro for a rest on the way to Solarnus, where all the major trades happened.
Although Callistro and Mykae were both ports they looked radically different. The colours were darker, more muted, more sombre than that of the bright and colourful Ornian capital. The buildings were mostly brown wooden structures with white walls. While the gem inlaid walls of Mykae would glint colourfully in the sunlight, most of the colour in Callistro came from the Solarian flags and insignia that hung from the entry and exit points of the town, as well as the major roads.
As the crew were disembarking at the docks they were hit by the particularly pungent smell of fish. That was probably because they happened to disembark very close to several barrels of salted fish as well as the fish market . “Well, it looks like my nose has been attacked by fish!” exclaimed Astyrag jovially. “Although, I would prefer them cooked, and in my mouth” he added as he stared at the fish hungrily. "Settle down Astyrag, wouldn't want to devour their entire supply of fish like you did our food supply” said Junibar with a sardonic smile. “You exaggerate” Astyrag said, looking embarrassed. Fingar smiled at him. “My people always say that only a man who eats like a bear will fight like one. A healthy appetite is the mark of a true warrior” said Fingar. “Only if he keeps in shape of course! Wouldn't want our Astyrag here inflating like a puffer fish.” commented Felynestra with a look of amusement in her eyes and a smile. Astyrag looked at her sourly and Felynestra let out a hearty laugh and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I jest, friend, I jest” “I don't see the humour in this” said Junibar, appearing suddenly, rolling his eyes. His effect on the conversation was like that of a wet blanket. “We must devote our efforts into arranging accommodation for tonight, transport for tomorrow, and supplies!” said Junibar. He pointed to a nearby inn. “We can stay there tonight, I have already spoken to the innkeeper and reserved some rooms for us” The rest of the nodded, their spirits slightly dampened. Astyrag was slightly irritated in the first place and opened his mouth to say something when Junibar cut him off. “Now if you'll excuse me, I need to procure a riverboat for tomorrow morning” Junibar began to walk away from the group, leaving them slightly bewildered.
Felynestra stared after him. He was like a puzzle to her, one moment kind and wonderful, another moment he was....horrible was the only word. Yet while she was slightly frustrated at his polar attitudes, she felt powerfully curious about and intrigued by him. Fingar was also looking at Junibar as he walked away. Astyrag and Felynestra would likely go off in a different direction tomorrow, while Junibar would journey to Solarnus. While both parties would go their separate ways on the trail of clues, what was he to do? 'Junibar saved my life' thought Fingar, such things were taken very seriously and highly honoured among his people. He ran after him.
“Stop! I'm coming with you!” exclaimed Fingar as he managed to catch up with Junibar. Junibar stooped abruptly and turned to face Fingar. “What?!” exclaimed Junibar in response. “I'm coming with you.” “No you're not. You've been great on the ship but you must realise this is Ornian state business.” Junibar started to walk again and Fingar walked with him. “You saved my life, my Lord” “Anyone would have done the same.” replied Junibar, waving his hand as if to dismiss the topic. “No. They wouldn't. In my country you would be given the highest honours for such an act in the middle of a battle. I have sworn a sacred oath not to leave your side until the debt is repaid” Junibar stopped walking again and placed a hand on Fingar's shoulder, genuinely touched. He could see that Fingar truly meant every word he said. In Orna, it was usually hard to tell if people say what they truly mean. Fingar was a good man, and although Junibar may seem slightly self-absorbed at times, he always respected the ways of other cultures. In truth, he had saved several lives in the past but none had approached him with such sincerity of heart, as Fingar had done. “Then you are welcome to join me” smiled Junibar. “Now, we must get ourselves a riverboat for tomorrow” he added. “My people are very experienced in building and using boats for shallow waters. You will find me very useful” “No doubt, friend. And please, call me Junibar. None of this 'My Lord' business” “Very well then, Junibar” said Fingar, smiling. They started to make their way to the shipyard.
Meanwhile, Astyrag and Felynestra walked down the winding streets of Callistro, trying to find the mapmaker. Neither of them were very experienced with travel outside of Orna. If they didn't procure a map, they had no chance of making it to the Elven Kingdom. “Why don't we ask someone where the shop is” said Felynestra. “No. I can find it.” replied Astyrag curtly. Clearly, he was still annoyed at the puffer fish comment. “Is this about the puffer fish? That was a jest!” exclaimed Felynestra, waving her arms about as if to emphasize the point. Astyrag sighed. “Yes, I know” “Then what's the problem?” “Do you really think we have a chance in all this?” “Of course we do, I know you secretly think that I'm some simpering fool but you have observed my reflexes while I was doing my duties on the ship. You know I can fight.” “Well, yes...” replied Astyrag, hesitantly. “And you said yourself that the King chose you because of your exceptional observational skills. We will figure it out.” “Neither of us are experienced with these lands, Felyn” said Astyrag, finally. “And I've never really tested my fighting skills practically but I know we'll succeed. Besides, you're a trained soldier. I'm sure you can adapt well to any opponent.” Astyrag considered her comments and decided that she was right. There was no purpose in worrying about what has not happened yet. The problem with Astyrag was that although he was sharp as a tack in terms of problem solving and observational skills, he tended to think too much. He always considered the worst eventualities when strategizing. Some would say it leaves him more prepared, but it also leaves him more worried. “You're quite the reluctant hero, if I've ever seen one” commented Felynestra with a wry smile. “Ah. There's it is. 'Geldron's Maps'. I told you it would be in the trade district, and the signs led us there just fine.” “Oh, shut up” replied Felynestra as they went inside. A little bell rung as they opened the door. “Welcome to Geldon's Maps. I am Geldron the great cartographer. May I interest you fine people in a map to the Caves of Timerin. Or perhaps one to the Ruins of Zu'Ruk!” said the mapmaker as he removed several maps from his shelves and rolled out the parchments to display them, carefully making sure that his ink stained fingers did not create smudges on his perfectly drawn creations. He wore a blue vest on top of a white linen shirt, which was heavily stained with ink and his grey hair was in wild disarray. “No no. We don't need to go to any of those places” said Felynestra quickly, successfully stopping the eccentric man from removing any more maps. “Then what may I interest you in? A custom made map perhaps?” “No, we need a map to the city of Poldien in the Kingdom of Loriell.” said Astyrag. “Ah, I see” said Geldon as he pulled out the required map. “This is the map you are looking for”. He rolled out the map. “You need to follow the road north west, into Kalandria, and pass into Loriell through this bridge over the Eskadriel Falls in the north of Kalandria. Then follow this road straight to Poldien.” said the mapmaker, pointing to various locations on the map. “That's all well and good but why can't we cut through here.” said Felynestra, pointing to a small country, tiny in comparison to the large crescent shaped Kalandia, that stood between Solaria and the eastern edge of Loriell. “It's a straight line into Loriell, see” she said, pointing again. The mapmaker looked at her incredulously. “You can't pass through there! That's Sheshnal Grond. 'The Cursed Land'”. “Oh...I see” replied Felynestra, slightly embarrassed. “We'll take this map then thank you” said Astyrag. “That's one gold piece please” “One sesiri?! For a map?!” exclaimed Felynestra. Although currency was referred to by different names in different cultures, the denominations were the same all over the known lands of Nios, barring some small tribal cultures. Fifty copper, or adari as the Ornians called it made one silver. Fifty silver, or dinari, made up one gold piece, or sesiri. To Felynestra, that was unheard of for a map. “Very high quality map, this is. I travelled these lands myself! Almost died in Sheshnal!” exclaimed the mapmaker wildly. “Well, alright” said Astyrag, as he placed a gold coin on the table. The mapmaker smiled widely. “Thank you for your custom, good sir! Here is your map. You may find it helpful to look for my cousin Hedron, the merchant, in the shop directly opposite this one. He is sending out some goods to Poldien tomorrow morning! You may catch a ride!” Astyrag took the map. “Thank you” said Astyrag. Felynestra and Astyrag walked out of the store. “Could have said that about the wagon to Poldien in the first place” mumbled Felynestra. “You're an Ornian noble just like me. We can afford to buy that whole shop. Now, stop fussing and let's go find this cousin Hedron.”
The next morning at the Salty Fish Inn, Felynestra was preparing her pack, purchased the previous day from Hedron's General Goods after arranging transport. It was very nice of the proprietors to prepare food supplies for our journey, thought Felynestra. She didn't know what she should feel about the journey she was about to begin. On one hand she was excited at the thought of being able to experience the world and put her skills to practical use. But on the other she felt slightly worried about the possible dangers of such a mission. What if she didn't make it back?
“Oh Gods, my brother” whispered Felynestra suddenly. How could she not think of this earlier? She was so preoccupied with the journey that she neglected to think of her family, especially her brother. Father, no doubt, would have busted a vein when he found out of her unexplained disappearance. And her brother, he must have been worried sick. Felynestra and her brother Ronin were very close. He was one of the few people that tried to truly understand her. She was worried that her sudden disappearance immediately after learning of her engagement might have caused him to think that she had done something horrible to herself. She walked over to the desk and picked up a quill pen and a piece of paper, left conveniently by the proprietors for their guests' use. As there was not much time before departure, she was only able to write a short and hasty letter.
Dear Brother,
I did not intend to disappear in this way but do not worry, I am well and with friends. I'm afraid I cannot return yet. I must take care of some important business first.
Your Loving Sister, Felyn
She finished writing the letter and blew on the ink to help it dry quicker. There was a knock on the door. “Come in” she called. “It's me Astyrag. I just wanted to have a word with you before we left.” he said. “Sure, is there something wrong?” asked Felynestra. “No, I just wanted to make sure that you truly wanted take part in this mission. I know Junibar will not take the time out to put you on a ship back home but don't feel forced to join us, join me, in this journey. I will be glad to make sure you get home safely if you want.” Felynestra smiled and looked at him warmly. “I am truly touched. That is very kind of you, my friend.” she said. “But, believe me when I tell you that I want to do this, to contribute to our country in an important way. It would make me happy” she finished. Astyrag smiled too. “Well that's settled then. We must go downstairs now. We have to depart very soon.” “I know just hold on a minute” said Felynestra as she quickly sealed the letter using the wax provided and scrawled Ronin's name and their address. “Right, let's go downstairs”
“I would truly like to thank you again from your custom, my Lord” said Iyain, the proprietor of the inn, to Junibar who was sitting by the counter. “And my wife is was very glad, I'm sure, to prepare some food for your party's journey.” “Your kindness is been duly noted, sir” replied Junibar. “And I shall be sure to recommend your establishment to any Ornian merchant or traveller to these parts”. The proprietor of the inn flushed a little. “You are too kind, my Lord, too kind. Too kind indeed.” said Iyain. Junibar wasn't listening, Felynestra had just descended the stairs, along with Astyrag, and was approaching the counter. “You have been very good to us, sir” began Felynestra, speaking to Iyain. “But I am afraid I must ask one more thing of you. Please deliver this letter for me to the nearest message office. Make sure to send it by messenger bird to this address” she finished, pointing to her letter. “Certainly, my Lady” replied Iyain as he took the letter. Felynestra laid some coins out on the table. “This should cover the cost” she said. Iyain merely nodded thankfully and took the coins. Junibar was curious about the letter, but didn't ask and merely watched her intensely. “I shall be sorry to see you go” he said suddenly. “Since we're going in different directions.” Felynestra was caught off guard by this statement, it evoked a strange, previously unknown feeling within her. “I..uh..yes, I know what you mean.” she replied finally. “I should hope to see you again soon” she said, smiling at him. “I'm sure we'll see each other before too long” said Junibar, still looking at her intensely. Why is he staring at me? It's not entirely proper, thought Felynestra. But then again, why was she suddenly concerned with propriety? She shook the feeling off. “Well be that as it may, I expect you to keep safe. In order to keep to your statement” she said, smiling. Junibar looked at her with an amused expression. “There is no doubt of that” he replied. “I expect you to keep safe as well” “I..um...I'm sure I will” she replied. Sometimes she didn't really know how to reply to the man. “We've got to go now, we've got to go catch that wagon before it departs without us!” called Astyrag. “Coming!” called Felynestra. “I'm afraid I have to leave now. I wish you success in your part of the mission” “And I you” replied Junibar. Felynestra quickly walked off to catch up with Astyrag who waved to Junibar, and was waiting by the door. Junibar waved to Astyrag and looked at Felynestra as she walked away. Look back, he thought. Look back. She looked back quick before she exited the inn. Junibar smiled smugly.
_________________
Visit Me
"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:02 am |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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Although has taken me awhile to get around to reading it, must say I like the recent developments in the storyline. It appears that some of the characters are coming out as the main characters and others are leaving off as secondary. You'll have to write more, making sure to check spelling and grammar as always, otherwise I'm eager to here more about how the map and ride will go 
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 4:47 pm |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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thanks for reading it and the comments  ...and yeah i feel like its taking shape as well...i have a conceptual idea of the structure for the story...i'll be working on the next chapter and may post it up when its done
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"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, expensive, or fattening" -- Me
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Black_Rose
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:46 am |
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| Giant Orange |
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Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:26 am Posts: 1047 Location: London
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well for those who are interested here is chapter 8. It's a bit of a long chapter but any feedback will be helpful. Chapter 8: On the Road
The hot summer sun beat down upon the Solarian landscape. The land was still and quiet, it was as if the heat drained all energy and movement of its inhabitants. One thing however, shattered the stillness. A single river boat glided across the waters of the Silver Snake. And on that boat, Fingar wasn't feeling the heat. The movement of the boat created a light refreshing breeze that rustled through his blond hair. His spirits however remained low, refusing to be uplifted. He sat at the end of the boat with his hand upon a simple looking wooden box-like contraption. It had a lever at one end and half of it hung over the boat and was submerged in the water. It had several round holes in the centre of it, in which lay glowing green crystals. They call it a 'motor'. A fine new example of 'magical engineering'. Fingar glared at the ghastly contraption. Contraptions like these put people out of jobs. This thing powered the boat, kept it moving, and moving fast. It was a fine innovation yes, but then what was he for? Yes he felt a duty towards Junibar, for saving his life. That was the reason for helping him with his mission but he did mention that his expertise with river boats would be essential for this part of the journey. And he was an expert in river boats, but only those of the old fashioned kind. Boats that were propelled by rowing and manpower. He used to command a longship which, being elongated and shallow, was ideal for river travel as well as travelling the seas. But when he saw this boat and this...this thing...he was shocked. A little wooden box to power an entire boat? Where were the men? They were provided with only one man, a guide, to help and then bring the boat back once they reached their destination. The guide took turns with Fingar in manning the 'motor' if only to give him something to do.
Something called 'magical engineering' was what enabled a wooden box to propel an entire boat. All Fingar had to do was twist the lever round and then once the boat got going, steer it using another lever that stuck out vertically from the top of the box. The initial twisting motion caused a 'propeller' to twist its blades round in the water. This created what the mages call 'kinetic energy'. The crystals then did all the work. These crystals had a spell on them to amplify a particular type of energy, in this case kinetic energy. It made the blades keep turning, turning fast enough to move the boat at speed. To change the speed of the boat all Fingar had to do was add or remove a crystal. It was indeed a fine example of what is called 'magical engineering'. It is a fairly new and young branch of magic in which mages use their talents in conjunction with engineering techniques to create magically powered contraptions designed to improve various aspects of life and business.
Fingar however, didn't care much about the technicalities of how the thing worked or how useful such examples of innovation are to society at large. It made Fingar feel obsolete. He was expecting to undertake a more active role in the journey and so far, he's only been feeling like a burden.
Junibar however, had not done anything to make him feel that way. Maybe Fingar was over thinking things. He stood up and asked the guide to watch the motor and steer for a bit while he went into the small cabin to rest and clear his head. Junibar was in there as well. He was slumped in a chair with his boots on a small table, taking an afternoon nap. Fingar quietly entered the cabin and tiptoed to the chair adjacent to Junibar. As Fingar sat down, Junibar jerked his head and started to mutter. At first, Fingar hoped he had not disturbed his companion. But when Junibar started to mutter again Fingar looked at him and leaned in. “What's that?” he whispered. Suddenly Junibar grabbed Fingar's wrist and gripped it tight, with his eyes still closed. Fingar looked at his wrist, surprised, and back and Junibar. He must be talking in his sleep, thought Fingar. Nevertheless, he leaned in closer to better make out what Junibar was whispering.
“Aleyna” whispered Junibar. “Aleyna”. Junibar was dreaming. In his mind sitting next to him on that chair was not Junibar but a girl. A girl with short, slightly wavy, red hair and deep, dark, blue eyes. Her face was slender and she wore a gold necklace around her neck. She stared at Junibar intently, but said nothing. The sight of her, of Aleyna, was like a dagger through Junibar's heart. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes filled with tears. “Aleyna...I'm sorry” he whispered. She simply smiled. The sight of that smile caused his tears to flow unbidden and caused his blood to boil at the same time. “Ashgoth Maynne will pay for what he did to you” he said to her. “I will kill him in Solarnus...and now I have help, my Aleyna” he whispered again. He paused a moment to try and regain his composure. “Fingar is with me now” he muttered, struggling to speak, and wiped his tears. “He will help my quest...my quest to murder him....while he sleeps” He stared at Aleyna intensely. “I will avenge you, my love” he whispered. “Say something please” he begged. “Aleyna please, tell me that you're alright down there, in the Underworld. Tell me anything, just say something” She said nothing, and simply raised her hand to caress his cheek, and then started to fade. “No...Aleyna...You can't leave me again” he muttered. She had vanished.
Junibar had let go of Fingar's wrist. He slept fitfully for a while then seemed peaceful again. Fingar stared at the sleeping Junibar in horror, his mouth agape. He had only caught bits and pieces of what Junibar was muttering, but the few isolated words that he managed to catch said enough. This is what he is helping Junibar with? Murder? To murder a man in his sleep? Fingar clenched his jaw and had to get out of the cabin. He got up and walked out of the room, back to the motor. He steered the boat carefully and stared ahead. Junibar had saved his life, and Fingar did feel a deep respect for that and a sense of honour towards Junibar. He had sworn an oath and could not, would not, desert him now. But murder? He felt a growing sense of dread. What of the Tear? What of the people of Orna? What of the King and his orders? What of the mission, thought Fingar. Ha ran his hands through his hair. Junibar was only dreaming though, perhaps it meant nothing, he reasoned. His reasoning however, had a flaw. Junibar was dreaming but the intensity with which he had said those things shocked Fingar. He had seen people talk in their sleep before but not with such feeling. He knew that Junibar was not lying about avenging this 'Aleyna'. It seemed silly to be so worried about a dream but Fingar had to try to keep Junibar on track, to remind him of his true mission if indeed this 'Aleyna' business takes him away from it. As the great city of Solarnus appeared on the horizon, straddling the river Snake, Fingar filled with a sense of grim determination and purpose. If Junibar continued to follow this madness then he, Fingar, could not abandon the people of Orna. He would see to it that the mission gets carried out, whatever Junibar's state of mind was.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Two lone wagons rode through the north-western forested region of Solaria. The day was such that even though the wagons had made good time and were almost at the border of Kalandria, progression seemed unbearably slow to both Astyrag and Felynestra. They sat in the back of the leading wagon, rocking slowly with its movement. Felynestra sat with her head resting on her palm, looking out at the forest and Astyrag was slowly nodding off. The company of traders, two driving the wagons, the rest sitting in the back of the second wagon, were not making conversation at that moment. It seemed like the slow pace of the journey was putting the whole company to sleep.
“Hey, wake up” said Felynestra as she lightly nudged Astyrag. He snorted and awoke with a start. “Who? What?” he exclaimed as he awoke with a start. “I thought I saw something in the bushes” said Felynestra as she stared at the shrubbery. Astyrag yawned and focused his eyes on the forest. “Probably an animal” he replied. “No I'm not so sure, there was a flash of black in the bushes” said Felynestra. Astyrag paused, deep in thought for a moment. “It can't be a black panther, the ones we're used to back home. As I recall, they thrive in humid environments like the jungles of Orna. This place is too dry. Could have been a black bear. This could be dangerous.” “Could be humans” she replied. “But who...” began Astyrag when the wagon ground suddenly to a halt and the wagon driver screamed. Felynestra and Astyrag jumped out of their wagon, drawing their swords. The wagon driver lay dead, his throat slashed and bubbling with blood. The other traders had already run into the bushes and were not followed. Six figures, clothed entirely in black, stood waiting for Felynestra and Astyrag who turned to face their opponents back to back, and circling. “You killed our driver! Who the hell are you?!” yelled Felynestra. There was no response.
All six figures rushed at them, weapons drawn. 3 to 1 odds, thought Felynestra. A bead of sweat appeared on her forehead. Would her training be enough to defeat 3 opponents, or more in her first real fight? Thin knives flew by, thrown by 3 pairs of hands. This is no time to doubt my ability, thought Felynestra, as she twisted through the onslaught. One of the knives slashed deeply into her left arm, leaving a trail of blood as it few by. Felynestra cried out in pain. Time to go on the offensive. Having exhausted their set of knives, her opponents drew daggers. Felynestra lunged at one man with her sword, while successfully dodging the attacks of the others, and with one fell swoop ran him through. Her blade was stained crimson. With one man successfully down, she attacked the others. The two black clad figures dodged the swing of her sword with skill. One responded with a swing of his dagger, narrowly missing Felynestra's throat. In the mean time, the other man kicked her down. With lightning speed, Felynestra picked up a knife lying on the ground and threw it at her attacker's throat as she picked herself up and thrust her sword into the other's stomach as he was preparing to come down at her with his dagger. They both fell dead in a pool of blood.
Astyrag was losing the fight, when Felynestra joined in, although two out of three of his attackers were already dead. The strain of the attack was showing on his face. This last opponent was more skilled than the others, harder to kill, a leader of the group perhaps. Felynestra distracted the man with vicious cuts and thrusts. Momentarily distracted, the man turned his back to Astyrag to face the new opponent. Astyrag thrust his sword into the man's back and all the way through to his chest. For a moment the man's mouth fell open as he stared at the sword in his chest. An instant later, he was dead and Astyrag withdrew his sword. Astyrag and Felynestra both wiped their swords and thrusted them into back their scabbards. Felynestra stood panting, leaning forward, with her hands resting on her knee.
“They weren't bandits” said Astyrag finally as the traders slowly emerged from their hiding place in the bushes, mourning the loss of their friend. “What?” replied Felynestra, straightening herself up. “They weren't bandits, they didn't go for the goods” observed Astyrag. Felynestra looked around at the scene in front of her, and indeed all the goods were still in the wagons. “You're right!” she exclaimed. “And they didn't go for the traders either, just one of them. It's like they were only after us!” Astyrag nodded. He bent down above one of the black-clad corpses. “Come and look at this” he said. Felynestra walked over to him and he lifted the sleeve of the corpse's shirt exposing a small black tattoo. Felynestra gasped. “A black lily. But how could they have known? This mission is supposed to be secret and no one could have known the route we were taking. They were waiting for us!” she exclaimed. Astyrag grabbed her arm lightly and pulled her further away from the group of traders. “Shh” he whispered. “Not so loud.” “You think they knew?” she asked. “You yourself said no one could have known the route we were taking. No one, that is, except the mapmaker and that merchant.” “You think they tipped off the Black Lilies?” asked Felynestra. Astyrag nodded. “Maybe the wagon driver knew he was going to die, or maybe they figured he was expendable” said Astyrag. Felynestra paused for a moment then nodded in agreement. “I think you're right. It's the only explanation for how they would know our location. Come to think of it, the only way they could have possibly known we were on this mission in the first place is if...” “...they had someone on the inside!” finished Astyrag, realisation dawning. “Someone in Orna! But who would betray the country like that?” “I don't know” replied Felynestra. “But if this is true, we cannot stay here with them. There may be more traps ahead.” “It's not safe on the road, we need to find another way into Loriell” replied Astyrag. “You still got the map?” replied Felynestra. Astyrag retrieved their packs from the wagon, while the traders were still gathered around their dead comrade, and returned with them. He handed Felynestra her pack and removed the map from his own. They both looked at the map. “There is one way” said Felynestra, looking at the map. “Not Sheshnal Grond?!” exclaimed Astyrag. “What choice do we have!” “But it's cursed! I am not a superstitious man, but there must be a reason no one ventures there!” exclaimed Astyrag again. “Again, what choice do we have!” exclaimed Felynestra emphatically. Astyrag stared at her for a moment, and then reluctantly agreed. “We only have enough food and water to last a couple of days, though. I doubt the traders will let us take any more than what we already have considering they could be in league with our enemies. We'll have to hunt, and gather some berries on the way, while we're still in forested regions” said Astyrag. Felynestra agreed. “Do you think we should tell them we're leaving?” said Astyrag, glancing at the group of traders. They eyed Felynestra and Astyrag suspiciously, and began to walk towards them. “No. Run!” exclaimed Felynestra, suddenly. Felynestra and Astyrag ran into the forest. “Oi! Stop them!” yelled a trader as a few more took after them.
For a while, some of the traders pursued them. But, the chubby traders were no match for the leaner bodies of Felynestra and Astyrag and it wasn't too long before they lost them. They stopped running and were panting slightly. “You think we lost 'em?” asked Felynestra, looking back. “I think so” replied Astyrag.
With their pursuers lost, they took some time to tend to their wounds. Even though Astyrag was losing the fight in the end, Felynestra came out with more wounds. One on her arm, and the other on her side, staining her shirt blood red. The wounds were painful but not major. She was about to tear some fabric from her shirt in order to bandage the wounds when Astyrag reached into his pack, and pulled out some bandages and a flask of whisky. “Brought these along with me” he said simply. With her sleeves already ripped, it was easy for Astyrah to clean her wound with alcohol and then bandage it. Felynestra winced at the sting of the alcohol but her face remained otherwise impassive, except when Astyrag lifted her shirt, exposing her waist and sides. She blushed a little. Astyrag smiled. “There's no need to be shy, I'm only going to be focusing on this gash on your side.” Felynestra nodded, blushing a little more. To Felynestra's relief Astyrag said nothing more and expertly cleaned as well as bandaged her wound. “So what now?” asked Felynestra once he was done. “Well, first we rest here for a couple of minutes. Then you should be ok to carry on. Sheshnal Grond is in the north, so north we go” replied Astyrag.
They rested for a little while, then for several hours, they walked north. Occasionally, Astyrag tried to make conversation but Felynestra remained largely silent, gloomy, and introspective. It soon grew dark and they set up camp. Felynestra stared into the fire as she ate some bread, her eyes distant. “Is there something wrong Felyn? You've been very quiet since the fight earlier today” asked Astyrag gently. It was not characteristic of her to be so quiet and subdued. She took a while to respond. “I killed my first man today” she said, finally, still staring into the fire. She turned to face Astyrag with a haunted expression. “I didn't have time to think about it at the time, but I killed men today. I watched the light go out of someone's eyes. What if they had wives and children? I robbed those children of their father, those wives of their husband.” “Look, out here it's kill or be killed. They may well have had families but if you had stopped to spare those men you would be dead. Indeed, we would be dead. I might have died if you hadn't helped me with that last one.” “I know” she replied. “But I didn't expect that...that is, I thought that...well, never mind” replied Felynestra. “You thought that all this would be a grand old adventure didn't you? That's not the way the world works Felyn” said Astyrag. “You cant go on a dangerous mission without expecting to shed some blood.” “Yes, you're right but I truly didn't think it would be this hard” she said, her voice tinged with disappointment. Astyrag's expression softened and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “I felt the same way when I killed my first man. I took away his life, because if I didn't he would have endangered many others. Even so, I felt terrible. Being a warrior was not as easy as I thought it would be. You had to make quick decisions and take away men's lives if needed. But my commanding officer told me something. He said that we all experience this same feeling after killing our first man and it does not get easier. But if you dwell on it too much, you'd fall into a depression and never be able to live your life or do your duty protecting others. We feel pain when we kill but we need to always keep in mind our duty to defend ourselves and protect others. How were we to know that those men wouldn't go after the traders? Defence and protection is not the same as murder.” Felynestra was quiet for a moment and then she nodded in thanks and agreement. “Yes, what they were intending was murder. We were simply defending ourselves, the goods, and those traders even though they weren't as innocent as we thought.” Astyrag smiled at her. “Don't dwell on it too much, Felyn. Come on, let's get to bed shall we? We need to make an early start tomorrow.”
And with that, they both lay down to sleep. They would need all the rest they could get because there indeed was a reason why they called it The Cursed Land. And that reason was darker and more sinister than they could imagine.
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Nightwolf
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Post subject: Re: As Yet Untitled Story Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:49 am |
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| Baby Orange |
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:04 am Posts: 902 Location: Puyallup, Washington
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*Smiles appreciatively* You are doing very well on your story indeed, though I maintain what I've said. Grammar and placement of words.
Also just try not to rush through the plots too much. If you think it needs a bit more added to help unravel the mystery more, like details, don't be afraid of them. Heh
I'm glad it's unfolding really well for you though. ^_^
Can't wait to see what you write next
_________________ "First time you're a guest; we'll get it for you. Second time you're a friend and we'll show you where to find it. Third time, you're family so get it your damned self." The mage ^_^
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