hey, sorry i've been away lately, was gonna try and say i was overworked at university which is partially true.

point is snaps' game upset me more than everyone else, i overreacted and blew it out of proportion, maybe. point is i didn't trust this place anymore, i'm not sure how i feel right now anyway but i was sick of having my head messed with over it cause i wanted to come back but couldn't. time was i'd just walk away from a place like this after something like this and think good riddance and never think of it again

anyway here i am

Mistakes have been made, lessons hopefully learned ... dwelling on something too long can often be more harmful than the actual event.

I understand that a lot needs to be processed though and a break was probably needed. Most of the people here had nothing to do with what happened however.

I hope we won't lose you over what went on and I'm sure there is no reason to distrust us all.

heya buddy... i'm here if ya needs me ... or with coffeeeehhh

its ok guys, i accept this was my fault was taking it too seriously and blowing it out of proportion, lets just forget it. i'm sorry everyone.

In that case, it's time for a big group hug!

*gets his lasso out to round everyone up*

first i agree with what zan said earlier

and lol *hugs all*

Welcome Back Vixen

Glad to see us all in one place again.

On behalf of myself, gotta say I haven't been happy with what's been going on at the grove lately. Feel like I got into a timewarp and sent back to the days at Boomshift when they were having their issues and halves and fourths were being spread around like wildfire.

I'm happy with Vixen being back, but for one, that was the most ungracious apology ever and if anybody accepted it as anything less than hostile, well you guys are good for trying, but I feel that in many ways this issue wasn't solved. It's just one person begrudgingly trying not to be thought of as the bad guy.

I agree in part to what Zan said, but it's not so much about lessons learned. It's about reflection imo. Yes, the volume of anger Vixen was putting out could be likened to an atomic bomb, but also we all know the reason behind it and it's one thing we all hate. Betrayal, plain and clear. No matter how you put it, it's seen as a betrayal of heart and body and to those of us who are kin, we should take it in utmost concern. We base our lives around trust and we base our lives around trusting those closest and near and dear to our hearts. That trust is for those who say they are, to be who they say they are. We have a deep seated need to meet others of our kind, to talk freely about who or what we are, or even see if can feel different amongst kin than sometimes with non-kin. But heres the other side. We're all human, and we do make mistakes. I do not condemn Snaps for what he did, as I understand his side and I don't condemn Vixen's anger as I understand her side as well.

But has anyone else stopped for a moment to look at the other persons side in this duo of mistrust? Besides me, like imagined someway to relate to level of mistrust Vixen is or was feeling? Prime example, Rosey deary, I'm picking on you for this one. You love your bf, as fiancee as love. Imagine you never met Zan okay. So old grove, your bf is there, you trust him implicitly. Then new grove gets started and you see this new person zan and you have no admin powers. So you start to think of zan as a brother, you're like good old new grove. Then suddenly Zan turns out to be your bf and you're going whoa, or whatever your reaction would be. Maybe holy smoke batman, he's not who he says he is. Now for whatever reason behind it, you'll feel betrayed and you'll have wanted to know why the admins couldn't do anything about this at all. Zan same goes for you. Think of someone you trust implicitly and imagine they turn out to be someone totally different. How would anyone feel thinking like that? Happy? Sad? Hurt? Like you were the butt end of a joke and everyone is laughing at you for taking that as a heavy blow? Think about it

Now we're going to do the famous nightwolf flip and admin side. They're not babysitters, or not in the literal sense. Most of us here are adults. They can't just slap a person on the wrist and be like you are forbidden to ever change your name to something else upon starting up a new board and blah, blah. They wouldn't be respecting other peoples privacy if they watch our every movement and tell it to the world every move we make. Only time should is if it becomes an issue, which unfortunately this has turned into in my eyes. Then you got a problem, because one person is getting hurt. It sucks, cause we're not mated to snaps. Vixen is. We can't say yay or nay to his behavior, which is why we take it easier in our leisure to be like he's a big boy, he could do what he wants. Besides what do you think would've happened if someone would've known and said no snaps, we forbid you to do that. Snaps would get frustrated or mad eventually cause he's changing just like the rest of us, from boy to man, or man to other kind of man who knows? Hopefully get the drift. It's like if you never had someone die on you, and your best friends mom just died, you can't empathize, cause you never felt the pain, but you can sympathize. In this case though, sympathy came with a dose of, well we aren't as mad as you, because it simply isn't our place to get mad. Trying not to rant so get the big picture folks.

As I said I also don't condemn snaps in this, cause he's trapped by the one thing we all have. Inhibitions and a certain way of being. Trapped even further imo is being in a relationship. Long term or short term, relationships will hinder you to being only one person sometimes. You're used to it, your mate is used to it, and at the time you don't really expect anything to change. Then suddenly you get a revelation about yourself and go hmm, I'd like to explore that venue, but I don't want to completely do a jekyll and hyde with my mate. Act one way and then act another. I don't presume to know why snaps did his change, but I see it as just exploring a side to you, you really never knew existed and seeing if it has a place in your relationship and with you. Eventually it will be part of you, but should it be a bombshell change, or just a gradual. So snaps found a way to test his theory. Explore being a whole new person and we all know when we change or make an improvement, get carried away by newfound power. Vixen even you should be able to identify with this. Don't think anyone knew you could be as pissed as you got and I sure as hell didn't think you were ball breaker type. Maybe I didn't know you that well, but that's what relationships and friendships are about. Understanding, growing together, getting to know each other, and so now i know. Don't piss you off

I didn't mean to rant, but I just felt this all needed to be said, it won't solve anything, maybe won't change anything, but we all have to try to be ourselves and get along well with others, who may not like our entire selves, but heck, odd friendships form in the mist of adversity, so I hope this will help everyone take a pause for reflection time, maybe talk something over, and see that emotions should be synonymous with dissection sometime. As that famous saying goes, don't judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Okay I'm done. Sorry so long >_<

*grabs Nightwolf and reels her in, then tosses her into the group hug*

Shhhh, hugging in progress. Do not disturb.

*group hugs*

*Group hugs* ^_^

I think enough has been said in this thread and it's best if we put this behind us and forget about it, and try to get along well and understand differences...contining on will just make matters worse

I am locking this thread. The thread will remain here in news and announcements until tomorrow in case anybody needs it, upon which I will move it to the compost heap to be forgotten about

I agree with Rose, nothing to gain with reopening old wounds so lets just let them heal as good as they can.

*squeezes everyone together and hugs people*